Description: My daughter has cancer, neuroblastoma,
and this poem just came into my head, if you can even call it a poem. It's kind of rushed, but I decided to put it on here anyway. It helps me to vent my emotions through writing. Anyway tell me what you think, and what improvements need to be made.
It travels through the stream of life,
tainting every stone with its passing.
The river slowly turns black
the sickness deluding its purity.
They stand by the river's bed
grieving heads bowed in sorrow.
There is no promise tomorrow,
or even of the end of today.
Tumors of malice swell
to garganteuos proportions,
drinking in the life force,
and bathing in the river's blood.
No one knows how it came,
just that it is here,
and slowly destroying life's structure.
There is light on the horizon
however dim it seems to be.
We must fight this malignant
malevolent enemy to the death,
the death of us or him.
We mustn't lose sight,
push onward toward the sea,
and out of the never ending blight.
I'm so sorry to hear this. It must be such a tough time for your family. I couldn't imagine if one of my daughters was sick with something like this. Absolutely every last one of the children I have met who have a life-threatening illness have been little rays of sunshine, rare gems. For some reason they seem to be designed with a strong constitution, happy spirit, and indomitable will. I hope all goes well for you, that you are able to beat this!
I enjoyed the poem a lot. Although you may have been rushed when you wrote it, it came from an outpouring of the soul, and for this reason you should leave it unchanged. I think it is great.