Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Realtordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wovenwords
    ASL Info:    19/F/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 108/303/189
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 294
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1116



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Realtordots
    -------------------------------------------


    We know sprawling lake views
    are your preference,
    bridges arching over a still sheet of cerulean,
    gazing out of wall-sized sixth floor windows
    at the high beams of the cars driving across
    like a bright string of Christmas lights,

    but we think you’ll find this
    acceptable, this look out across
    the grainy brown of suburban rooftops,
    out towards the sky where trees used to tower
    until they were cut down
    to make room for hundreds more rooftops.

    We know waking in the morning
    to tousled hair and soft low breaths
    is your preference,
    after falling asleep to piano
    ballads or the sound of a
    typewriter click-clacking frantically
    from across the room,

    but we think you’ll find this
    acceptable, this waking to
    screams of children and the low growl
    of various lawn mowers,
    a suburban symphony in its first movement,
    slowly crescendoing
    as emptiness begins
    clanging on its
    great guttural timpani.




    Submitted on 2010-06-08 23:49:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      How has no one commented on this, your writting efficiency is amazing, good vocabulary, and great visualizations even the title of the piece goes seamless.... BRAVO
    | Posted on 2010-06-10 00:00:00 | by lone_one | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185553

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Soul shattered written by Passionbyapathy
    fresh graves written by etheror
    DNA's Moon Dance written by monad
    A Hand to Hold written by Windigo
    Monarch Butterflies written by poetotoe
    that one bar written by etheror
    Untitled written by Razor2TheRosary
    LÄPPLE written by Sethesin
    Did I lay in the regolith written by AsiaticFox
    rubric system/ just punch it in (let the machine) written by pioneerheart
    The first five minutes written by Narna
    painful changes written by gwenn sundala
    Born Last written by Narna
    Translations written by Daniel Barlow
    Turmoil written by Forgiven
    Razors, punches, and " 'night honey bunc written by TheAirWeBreathe
    The Game written by poetotoe
    whiskey night written by slntfirflm
    Do You See It written by Windigo
    The Actions Reaction written by Forgiven
    Forever In My Soul written by Rainin_Raspbery
    The Rose of Roses written by poetotoe
    Ghost written by roycureton
    Free, the Crocus written by KimmyMim
    We Smile as We Suffer written by Esophagus1
    Morning Musings of a Woman With Abandonment Issues written by Carosuel
    Lexicon of Listlessness written by Narna
    The Beautiful Losers written by Silverdog
    sad blue opening lines written by wav
    Pillars and Pillows written by Rainin_Raspbery

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry