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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Nature Study.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: edcherry
    Elite Ratio:    6.91 - 197/67/22
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 495
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 978



    Description:
       A realistic poem of love/desire.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Nature Study.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Summer heat was fading slowly,
    as nature mixes dies
    to paint the leaves of all her trees
    in ruddy autumn shades.
    The birds were frisking happily,
    freed from chores each day,
    for all the chicks had fled the nest
    so parents now could play.

    Hand in hand beneath the trees,
    he stopped to pick a flower,
    then held it 'neath her lovely throat,
    to check if she loved him,
    as smitten lovers of the world
    have done since man began,
    unsuspecting all were trapped
    in Nature's breeding plan.

    The rest will follow history,
    and children you will breed,
    thus Nature's needs will be fulfilled
    for furthering each race.
    Now, if you think you have a choice,
    forget that naive thought,
    for Nature's sales-pitch always wins,
    and you have just been caught.
    --------------------




    Submitted on 2010-06-09 22:52:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There are people who will say men and women don't need eachother. That you can live a fulfilled life alone. While this may be true for a small percentage of individuals who have been called to another purpose, by far the vast majority of people are going to play "the real game of life."

    for Nature's sales-pitch always wins,
    and you have just been caught!


    I think that sums this up nice and squarely. I like poems that use the final line as the punch, the real knock 'em dead before signing out. This is accomplished here.

    I notice there are certain lines that rhyme and others that do not, but that the rhythm flows pretty consistently. I'm assuming where it doesn't flow for me, (only in about 2 lines) is because of a different dialect. Because I live and love in Canada.

    (Strange because when I talk to Americans, they often say I have an accent, but I don't always notice theirs... exposure, I guess. I've been told our accent is something between British English and American.)

    Anyway, I liked how you painted the stages of life, the lines about the birds coming out to play once the chicks have left the nest, and of the middle-aged couple rediscovering love.

    It does sometimes seem like we're marionettes dancing on the strings of a Great Controller. But I do think we can alter our destiny too.

    That book istalkmurdoch mentions sounds interesting.

    Erin
    | Posted on 2010-08-28 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      aww this is sweet <3

    although do you mean now I can't control who I breed with lol >_< I'm being controlled by nature? This reminds me of I book called "The Botany of Desire" by a man named Michael Polland. In his book he is speaking about how we are controlled by nature, but he goes in dept about plants (hence the title has "botany") and how they are controlling us.... although in some ways you are right, we can't help but be caught up in the natural passions of our beings, but some people are blessed with the ability to resist their desires to seek out a greater purpose.

    I'm sorry if I babbled.... but I thought it was a good read.

    Keep writing

    istalkmurdoch
    | Posted on 2010-06-10 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]


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