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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I sweardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Temidayo
    ASL Info:    29 male Nigeria-lagos
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 161/40/20
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Misc/Religious
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1391



    Description:
       The coming of a greater change.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI sweardots
    -------------------------------------------


    I swear the road was closed.
    As I approached from a great distance
    It looked closed. Even as I got within a small distance it was clearly closed,
    Shut!

    But look no one about yet its open!
    Who unlocked these big gates as I drew near?
    Who made a pass for me where there should have been none?


    For the life of me I can swear! I never saw me take this crossing to the road of beautiful.
    I came believing as custom I would rap at the gates,wait a while then return from whence I came.

    Oh! None could have forseen this mercy!
    To many I told I was hard walking,
    Others saw and agreed,
    but in me heart I feared this delayed success.
    Did I merely walk hard?
    Not being as I should ,actualizing not as I would.

    I could have sworn that these gates would never, but alas! Glory me,open enough for I to squeeze through,so indeed everything is for a time and select purpose!
    Only one who knows my passion,my hurt,and lack of gain has ushered me through this historical crossing,even as I slept I never could afford the pleasure of dreaming this up!
    A crossing that changes all.

    I dissociate myself,my story with the unbelief of the white-overall men;THERE IS A GOD!
    I swear!!! Only He could wrought this crossing for me!




    Submitted on 2010-06-10 08:12:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this poem is great from all the lines it comes.
    the message is great and the the use of words is superb.
    great write poet.

    chumfin
    | Posted on 2010-06-16 00:00:00 | by chumfin | [ Reply to This ]
      The analysis
    I swear - is the story of a person's journey to 'road beautiful',it is the story of an activity being crown with success result.
    The character has carried out this activity repeatedly yielding little success,just enough to spur him/her on.
    But alas! The doing of a thing for long without substantial success,makes the thing be it job,research,or whatever activity seem not worth the effort or a ritual-go through the motions of doing the activity devoid of passion or conviction.
    From the line-'...where there should have been none' the character has had so many lows that an he/she feels victory/success is totally unmerited. At the end the big gates opened! So into road/land beautiful he sauntered!
    To deliver the above idea-I made a multi personality or to be one of either refine or uncouth,educated or illiterate. This is accentuated by the diction or reflective speech of the character. I thus sprinkled deliberate errors to evidence this feature. Another kind of thingy I did was replace hard work with hard walk to give acceptance to the journey-esque scenery-maybe should have titled it 'how I finally got to beautiful' the phrase merely walk hard-is educed from the notion of the character that untill he overworks himself upto ICU he has not done work hence his reflections on the subject of what other people say.
    Lastly indeliberate errors such as spellings may exist and morph into the style afore hinted upon @multi personality.
    But any other interpretation that maintains the 'finally there theme' in this one.
    | Posted on 2010-06-11 00:00:00 | by Temidayo | [ Reply to This ]
      theres a couple gramatical errors no biggs :).
    i like the overall feel over the piece, as i read it i had a cloudy picture of it and it painted a good picture, i hope you meant to give off the feeling i got when i read this nice work
    | Posted on 2010-06-10 00:00:00 | by lone_one | [ Reply to This ]


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