Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What happen?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 184
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 585
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1329



    Description:
       I hate her! as much love has I have witin me I have equal amout of hate for My Mother


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat happen?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I cried last night
    I longed for your presence
    I longed to have you near

    yet I cannot have you near
    for my actions have stopped this from ever happening...

    I did what you asked MOM
    I told the police
    I explaind how he touched me

    I did what you asked...Mom?

    Where did I go wrong...?
    Why won't you speak to me?

    Ashamed you are I see,
    ..Disgusted you are indeed,
    No No not by me I understand fully!!

    A glimpse of me is a simple yet a difficult reminder to yourself,
    of all your faults,

    all your failures

    Not only do you allow me to suffer threw years of sexual abuse growing up!
    Now you shun me from you life because you allowed what happened & NOW feel guilty for these actions??

    WELL MOTHER I hope the Lord above has pity on your soul I truely do
    Otherwise you will not make it very far when your time COMES




    Submitted on 2010-06-10 08:18:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like the careful use of bold font and italics to emphasize certain words.

    A couple small typos: it should be "explained" (line 8), then in the second to last stanza you wrote "threw" instead of "through", and the last stanza should say "truly". No big deal. :)

    Very powerful and striking message. I am sorry that you have had such a difficult situation to deal with in your past. I hope that things are better for you now.

    | Posted on 2010-06-13 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
      Keep writing and get all your emotions out. Thats the only way I survived. Oh and music helps a lot to. Good Luck. It's not easy being surrounded by stupid idiots who stay in denial. Stay strong!
    | Posted on 2010-06-10 00:00:00 | by captureyourself | [ Reply to This ]
      Heavy stuff, keep in mind it may not feel like it now, but you will be steering your own life in the direction you want, it might feel as if someone else is driving but it will be your path soon
    | Posted on 2010-06-10 00:00:00 | by lone_one | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185585

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The World written by jjd
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Cover written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry