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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Old love note about Jack.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ReMMuS
    ASL Info:    22-female-lemoore CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 17/24/19
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Love
    Total Views: 420
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 669



    Description:
       This is not a poem, it tells the memory it doesn't have the eloquence to show. This is free hand word for word. It has not been edited, and it's only finality is that it will never be finished.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOld love note about Jack.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You were my first love,
    and my first commitment to life.
    You gave me an after school blush, the shine in my eyes, and always above all of my ellusive treasures, the smile. You walked alone in the rain, always getting away like a wrinkle before an iron. You are the first and only person to walk anywhere for me. You are the only person with whom I wanted to be honest, and would chide for a lack of honesty. You wrought pearls on black leather, and a loss of identity. You are my first embodiment of love, and maybe someday that will change, but for now I'll keep you at a distance and am with you wholly as a passing thought, only within my memory.




    Submitted on 2010-06-10 17:19:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this.

    And "Old note" is exactly what this reads like, full of sentiment, fragility and nostalgia. It is a bit of love unrequited, but not completely, because something was gained -- to simply know what loving can do and be, whether it is is past or present.

    So...yes, that's it really. Especially like the simile presented in this line: "You walked alone in the rain, always getting away like a wrinkle before an iron."

    -Emeya
    | Posted on 2010-06-10 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]


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