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Strength, not cowardice That's what you told me it was And I believed you... The nausea refused to subside Like a hurricane Destroying her from the inside out Breathless Doing what she did best The sand between her toes She ran When her legs could move no longer She collapsed Sand in her hair Tears in her eyes Using every last muscle in her body She took a deep breath And forced herself up As she became completely numb Walking slowly toward the water Her heart beating faster and faster Nothing else mattered For she was a selfish soul, simply a burden The waves brushed against her feet As she proceeded, she felt free More alive than ever Though her body was no longer hers The wind blew in her hair Sending chills down her spine Like a never-ending rope As she fell deeper and deeper into a trance Waves crashed against her frail body Yet her only thought was to keep going As the ocean engulfed her Her soul was at peace "No longer a burden," she thought But the screams awoke her He grabbed her waist Forcing her up Although helpless, She fought him As he fought the water Waves swallowing them both And sure enough, More help arrived But it was he that saved her life And I hate him for it I am a selfish soul, simply a burden... |
This poem shows how selfish a person can be when they give up. they forget the people around them thinking only of themselves. I like how you portrayed it in the structure of the lines. the way you wrote it gave it an interesting tempo. the breaks into stanzas made you stop and think about the thought of each stanza as it tells a story up until the end. one line confused me though in stanza 7 and the last line which said "though her body was no longer her's" in what way was it not hers- was she relinquishing it to the ocean to cause her death? over all it was good.| Posted on 2010-06-11 00:00:00 | by thepulse | [ Reply to This ] | |