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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: THE TAPESTRY.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: edcherry
    Elite Ratio:    6.91 - 197/67/22
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 821



    Description:
       Religious


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTHE TAPESTRY.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I could thread my needle with the shining silk Belief,
    I'd weave it through the weft and warp of human disbelief,
    and watch the silk transform into a thousand colour shades,
    as it began formation of a wondrous tapestry.

    Stitch by stitch among blood spots my clumsy hands would weave
    a moving scene as it evolved, to show itself to me,
    Gethsemane the Garden, with disciples shown asleep
    as Jesus prayed upon His knees, a few short steps ahead.

    His earnest prayers to Father God would show His agony,
    with His sweat, like falling blood, appearing on the sand.
    Then as I watched this scene unfold, I'd fall upon my face,
    to offer thanks to Jesus Christ, from our reluctant race.
    _________________________




    Submitted on 2010-06-11 23:58:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Your shit sucks.
    | Posted on 2015-08-20 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]
      im a firm believer in not all pieces of work have to rhyme, its all about what the reader gets out of it and i really liked your work. my familys alittle bit more on the religious side then most so i always like to stumble across poems like this, the only part that didnt flow for me was the 4th line of stanzas 1&2. they just didnt seem to fit in with the rest of the stanza. but besides that i really liked this. good write!
    | Posted on 2010-12-15 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      Do you mean the Garden of Gasemity? That is where Jesus was praying to God if there was any other way to avoid the cross, and where the disciples fell asleep while he was sweating blood. But then the Romans (I would believe) found them there and one of them took off a guard's ear and Jesus healed them...

    Over all I thought that it was a very good piece of work, I love this sort of writing (mostly because of the fact that I am a Christian) and you made it so beautifully.

    Keep Writing,

    istalkmurdoch
    | Posted on 2010-06-20 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm confused as to if you were trying to follow a rhyme scheme or not... it is a bit inconsistent.

    The last line in the first stanza doesn't flow well with the previous lines and could use some more attention.

    With that said, my favorite lines are the first two... very creative wording/diction that made me interested in the rest of the poem.

    It's hard for me to say much about the religious aspect of the poem simply because I am not a very religious individual. The poem seems to be written by a humble follower of God and I really can appreciate all the creative imagery.

    Thanks for sharing. :)
    | Posted on 2010-06-13 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]


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