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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Prison..Prisonerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 570
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 823



    Description:
       I've fooled myself into believing

    Written 1/08/2009


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPrison..Prisonerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Spirling out of control I am
    These walls I built as protection
    Are in reality the walls of my Prision I have resided within for too long

    Feeling as if...
    These no where to turn to
    No one to run to

    Empty inside, I am
    yet also full of hate, anger, and guilt

    Can't seem to get a grip on things
    Either too far to grasp or my grip simply isn't enough to hold
    Loosing the will to understand the things I've always longed to know
    To finding the answers to my many unanswered questions

    A prisoner to these wall I am!
    I acknowledge this
    The memories they hold
    haunt me
    I try to live this life I've been given
    Yet I cannot
    For these walls.. They, haunt me




    Submitted on 2010-06-12 11:56:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      A beautiful young woman like you, with all her life ahead of her, sholdn't be so down. Break the walls down. You can - the power to do it lies wth you.
    | Posted on 2010-06-19 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate to this poem. It reminds me of living in TN, miles from everything. I moved there for the seclusion, then once I had it I lost everything else; my job, my girlfriend, my family and sanity. It's all about the decisions in life that had led us to the present, or the walls we must put up in our own self-righteous concept of how to be. A few spelling errors but it didn't stop me from really enjoying this one. You got yourself a fan!
    | Posted on 2010-06-15 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite a few spelling errors... but nothing a quick edit can't fix:

    (line 1) "spiraling"
    (line 3) "prison"
    (line 6) "There is" instead of "These"? I'm not sure what you meant in that particular line.
    (line 12) "losing"
    (line 14) "walls"

    Now, with that out of the way... this poem is very striking. I am going to assume it is about you since you used the first person in your description.

    I'd be interested to know more about the prison and its walls. It seems to be left pretty vague as to what the real issues are. Of course, that could be your intention... to leave it open to interpretation. It definitely leaves me with a curious feeling to know more of the story.

    Wishing you all the best.
    | Posted on 2010-06-14 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
      Get out of there! Life is precious. Loving is giving. Positive thoughts bestow positive energy, energy to pull down those walls. People give joy especially the right ones in their absence. Positive thoughts motivate. Nice piece
    Hope u really aint within them horrid walls. Error these walls not there wall.
    | Posted on 2010-06-13 00:00:00 | by Temidayo | [ Reply to This ]


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