Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Prison..Prisonerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 639
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 823



    Description:
       I've fooled myself into believing

    Written 1/08/2009


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPrison..Prisonerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Spirling out of control I am
    These walls I built as protection
    Are in reality the walls of my Prision I have resided within for too long

    Feeling as if...
    These no where to turn to
    No one to run to

    Empty inside, I am
    yet also full of hate, anger, and guilt

    Can't seem to get a grip on things
    Either too far to grasp or my grip simply isn't enough to hold
    Loosing the will to understand the things I've always longed to know
    To finding the answers to my many unanswered questions

    A prisoner to these wall I am!
    I acknowledge this
    The memories they hold
    haunt me
    I try to live this life I've been given
    Yet I cannot
    For these walls.. They, haunt me




    Submitted on 2010-06-12 11:56:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A beautiful young woman like you, with all her life ahead of her, sholdn't be so down. Break the walls down. You can - the power to do it lies wth you.
    | Posted on 2010-06-19 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate to this poem. It reminds me of living in TN, miles from everything. I moved there for the seclusion, then once I had it I lost everything else; my job, my girlfriend, my family and sanity. It's all about the decisions in life that had led us to the present, or the walls we must put up in our own self-righteous concept of how to be. A few spelling errors but it didn't stop me from really enjoying this one. You got yourself a fan!
    | Posted on 2010-06-15 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite a few spelling errors... but nothing a quick edit can't fix:

    (line 1) "spiraling"
    (line 3) "prison"
    (line 6) "There is" instead of "These"? I'm not sure what you meant in that particular line.
    (line 12) "losing"
    (line 14) "walls"

    Now, with that out of the way... this poem is very striking. I am going to assume it is about you since you used the first person in your description.

    I'd be interested to know more about the prison and its walls. It seems to be left pretty vague as to what the real issues are. Of course, that could be your intention... to leave it open to interpretation. It definitely leaves me with a curious feeling to know more of the story.

    Wishing you all the best.
    | Posted on 2010-06-14 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
      Get out of there! Life is precious. Loving is giving. Positive thoughts bestow positive energy, energy to pull down those walls. People give joy especially the right ones in their absence. Positive thoughts motivate. Nice piece
    Hope u really aint within them horrid walls. Error these walls not there wall.
    | Posted on 2010-06-13 00:00:00 | by Temidayo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185643

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To written by SavedDragon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Push written by JanePlane

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry