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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Queendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JR Hoodlum
    ASL Info:    24 M WV
    Elite Ratio:    3.45 - 229/320/80
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 460
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 567



    Description:
       Enjoy this one 'cause its the first time in a long time for me. Any feedback is greatly appreciated, thanks.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Queendots
    -------------------------------------------


    She had my heart and held it tight
    It truly was love at first sight
    Her eyes met mine, and we both knew
    Our days of loneliness were through
    And I had never known of love
    Not of its name, or what it was
    Then we had shared true loves first kiss
    And it was nothing short of bliss
    I thanked the lord for such a mate
    As her sweet lips had sealed my fate
    Inspiring a better life
    I asked her if She'd be my wife
    Our future bright as stars above
    She is my Queen, my one true love




    Submitted on 2010-06-15 10:53:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great poem! It's succinct, sweet, and has a lovely ending.

    For some reason, I am really drawn to these lines:

    "And I had never known of love
    Not of its name, or what it was"

    Very melodic sounding. I don't really have any criticism to give. I thought it was nicely done. The only negative thing that stood out (which is very nit-picky) was the capitalization of "She'd" in the 12th line. That kind of threw me off some, but perhaps that was an intentional capitalization..

    Great job though. Thanks for sharing this!
    | Posted on 2010-06-18 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
      ahh that's cute! Of course I'd say that cuz I'm a girl but the sequence of the poem was nice.
    | Posted on 2010-06-17 00:00:00 | by captureyourself | [ Reply to This ]


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