I liked it, mainly for being concise and still carrying a good beat to read to.
The only line I had a problem with was 'Can be right now if he wishes it so' - for some reason it doesn't flow quite right. However, I'm not sure how to change it to make it better (sorry!), so I'd leave it alone.
This was pretty good, I tend to be more biased towards rhyme scheme poems. It had a comfortable flow and at no point did anything seemed forced into fitting in. "the trigger holds his life contained", where do you come up with this stuff. I enjoyed it very much, keep that noodle cookin up more treasures like this.