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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Emptinessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 580
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 817



    Description:
       Ten reasons of death

    1. Old age
    2. Wrath
    3. solitude
    4. Emptiness
    5. Despair
    6. Destruction
    7. Intoxication
    8. Insanity
    9. Greed
    10. Sacrifice

    Fourth: There is nothing....nothing at all...
    (lulling means speaking quietly and comforting)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmptinessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    (Wind blowing on my face...)

    Hello...I call upon anyone,
    I am here...in my heart..alone.
    I see the world walking around,
    I see the trees and I greet them now.

    I had a dream, It was dark, It was bleak,
    not a streak of light, not a ray of hope.
    My soul says to me, I am alive.
    Mother earth is mine but not enough to speak.

    Silence I hail to the wind and water,
    Love, a tear, a smile...what are they?
    Just feelings of this body of mine,
    like the bleak dream of mine which had nothing to say.

    There is everything in the world a human needs,
    please define everything.
    I do not see what you mean or what you just said,
    All that I hear is silence, All that I hear is me....lulling




    Submitted on 2010-06-19 00:59:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Alright, so this is quite an interesting piece. It doesn't exactly flow off the tongue but I guess that's what you were going for, it brings more attention to each line.

    I was about to point out your repetition of 'mine' but then I reread and saw the alliterations and other things you used with adding to the theme. I can see the lonliness. How you are right there, waiting, and the world seems empty, just of people but of feelings, of things for human existance we all don't always mention. The things we think we have but in the end don't.

    Anyway keep it up

    Flora
    | Posted on 2010-06-19 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]


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