Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Silence And The SIlent:Open to Revisioningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 421
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 533
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2684



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Silence And The SIlent:Open to Revisioningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    To all of you.

    (All of the silence sounds the same.)

    Do you ever wonder where the end of the blowing wind goes,
    like all in time it must die.
    Fading out in a cold draft,
    nothing will remain but the chill.
    Memories sometimes fade.
    We think they're lies,
    so far gone from our last moment in light.
    Death is what we call disbelief,
    awe and misery all wrapped up like a gift to receive.
    There is a two-fold crime in our life,
    like the silence it echos in our head.
    Truth and lies.

    (All of the silence sounds the same.)

    Walk where the shade has fallen,
    it holds much more weight when all falls from grace.
    Hold up the pillars,
    That epic struggle with in.
    No shelter in life.
    Dueling nature converse in love and crime.

    (All of the silence sounds the same.)

    From words of the silent, the damned.
    No glorious miracle will be given from the voice of God at our end.
    This is when all you tried for just dies,
    no more wrong or right.
    So much wickedness.
    The silent can't console you in grief,
    no words can bring what was lost back.

    Nightfall could not come soon enough,
    let all our love in light take a moment in peace as the darkness comes to be.
    From all we know this time we just die,
    a moment of grace was when our eyes laid back, let memories dance in mind.

    (All of the silence sounds the same.)

    The love was lost,
    torn,
    beaten back from all dreams,
    all the world we can't see is gone.
    Our heart - Ice
    Sorrow has painted everything black,
    sipping on agony one shot at a time.
    Let all we hold dear die with nothing.
    Our soul - Darkness
    Leave no grand legacy behind,
    all we know was corrupted from our creators hand.
    Our mind - Corrupt

    (All of the silence sounds the same.)

    All the silent speak to us wicked.
    All of them speak in laughter.
    Silent polite stinging lies.

    (All of the silence sounds the same.)

    Trapped in this firestorm of sin,
    another one has fallen craving attention and sorrow,
    all was left behind when you fell silent in your lies.
    Just look to the future of life,
    bleak and spiraling down this never ending abyss of silence.
    Trapped.
    Trapped under the whispers within.
    All this silence sounds the same.

    The silent hold no sin.




    Submitted on 2010-06-24 19:55:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I would make small changes, but your probably better off sussing them out yourself. I think I've read some of your earlier work and it showed little promise. But this is an improvement, you could build from here.
    | Posted on 2010-06-24 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185832

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Giving written by jjd
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Bond written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry