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    dots Submission Name: goodbyedots

    Author: locutus
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 29/34/35
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 704
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 496


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    one day the mother left her cubs,
    ingnored their plea for milk, she knew they had sucked her dry.
    she found a great lake where she can swim and eat all the fish in sight.
    This is my new home. I lay on my back while the rain massages my belly,
    the sun is always trying to catch me yet i hide in the clouds.
    the birds play all my favorite songs, but they never grow old.
    who, what, where are the cubs?
    growing old and evil, i hope you find your way.

    Submitted on 2010-06-28 22:15:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked the idea behind this piece. I reckon that you are trying to say that in the end everybody leaves as though it were some kind of nature forced caused somehow, neglecting the ones you once loved. I guess you might be right up to a certain degree. I believe some animal do answer to that behavior as well as some people however we do find exception to the rule.

    As to the format, it would have been nice having seen this broken into stanzas so as to make it more appealing. As I said before I did enjoy the concept and the tone that was achieved I believe was the thing I found more interesting.

    Hope you are doing well and I'm sorry if I had it all wrong,

    Best wishes,

    | Posted on 2010-07-04 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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