Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Sacred Particles Of Taodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 631
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 513



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Sacred Particles Of Taodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Entropy- Cold and calculated
    Earth below - Heaven side
    Clouds shiver, hungry for the dawn.

    Canopy of stars - Flashing brilliant, scars
    Dissolution - Mayhem
    Beneath it all; Just a wandering pawn

    The sea will dry - Evolution of time
    The mountains will erode - With a particle storm
    Colliding bliss - The essence of life; Never lost - Merely displaced

    Weakly; Is how we think of the Tao
    Everything is in the end -- Nothing




    Submitted on 2010-06-30 16:19:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed reading this. I feel like you used all the right words to describe something very sacred. Personally, I would have been interested to see more of a story behind what you're saying; my favorite stanza is definitely the third, because it gives a little bit of a tale of events. But otherwise, it was a very pleasant poem to read.
    | Posted on 2010-07-01 00:00:00 | by awastedsky | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185909

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Fasade written by jackz
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Every..... written by jackz
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry