Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Desert Dreamerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MrBear
    ASL Info:    19/M/Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.01 - 59/109/48
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 711
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 532



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDesert Dreamerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    what if you were a Desert Dreamer?
    coldest nights coyotes howl
    hunger headaches, concern for dinner
    hottest days the vultures prowl

    obsessed with eating refreshing fruits
    wake up to chewing shrubberies
    exotic tastes with the sweetest juice
    kiwis, oranges, and strawberries

    what if you were a Desert Dreamer?
    without water hot and steaming
    looking at clouds as nourishment
    you envy the heavens that hold them

    ~ Teddy Dayton ~




    Submitted on 2010-07-05 06:49:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      nice nice i love it!! i assume now your teddy lol. anyhew i'm glad to see this post has comments its a really good peice

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2010-07-15 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      good indeed - it short and melody. it captures lovely visions.
    i like i like....good write...

    fav line: look at the clouds as nourishment
    you envy the heavens that hold them
    | Posted on 2010-07-06 00:00:00 | by Bloodstone | [ Reply to This ]
      That made me bloody thirsty :D I am not the most observant reader but the rhyme scheme and general language made this poem wholly appealing. Though I can't explain exactly why I like it I hope you appreciate that I think it's pretty damn good :D
    | Posted on 2010-07-06 00:00:00 | by MornSweetSong | [ Reply to This ]
      I am a desert dreamer.

    And I really enjoyed your take on spiritual hunger. It sort of rhymed but not really which worked just fine for this (in my opinion). I look forward to more postings. Happy writing!
    | Posted on 2010-07-05 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185975

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry