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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Completedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mixedemotions00
    ASL Info:    24/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    6.26 - 574/377/69
    Words: 35
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Love
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 253



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCompletedots
    -------------------------------------------


    And when he leans over
    late at night
    before turning out the light,

    and he kisses her forehead
    and watches her dreaming
    (though she's only pretending)-

    that's when she feels it the most.




    Submitted on 2010-07-10 22:53:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Those thoughts are really great, if you want my opinion I advise you to use those thought and write a real poem 12 to 16 lines, just try to focus more and you will write a really good poem.
    Do not forget to notify me when you publish that poem here in Elite skills, I will be more than happy to read it and comment it of course.
    Medhat
    | Posted on 2010-07-11 00:00:00 | by Duke Medhat | [ Reply to This ]
      

    it is some kind of feeling, isn't it? that comfortable. that okay. that weight that means something next to you.

    i like the thought of pretending, and not that it's being sneaky, it's just that sometimes it's the only way to catch tenderness.

    it made me think of how my man liked to watch me sleep. he said he loved me most then, seeing me dream.

    food for thought here. while i tend to like ands and use ands i would drop a few to help the flow of things.




    [W]hen he leans over
    late at night
    before turning out the light,

    he kisses her forehead
    and watches her dream
    (though she's only pretending)-


    that [is] when she feels it the most.


    anyhoo... i like where this takes me.








    | Posted on 2010-07-11 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186089

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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