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    dots Submission Name: Soul at Sunsetdots

    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.12 - 366/360/153
    Words: 19
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 516
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 155

       another hot minute piece.
    a monostich: a single line poem.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoul at Sunsetdots

    My soul is an abandoned sanctuary at sunset.

    Submitted on 2010-07-11 01:10:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I landed on this one first, because the title intrigued me. When I looked, I was blown away by its simplicity. It says so much in so few words...

    It's a wonderful metaphor. The empty sanctuary, which once held hope, prayer, enlightenment....now sits still but retains the glow of the colors of dusk.....
    | Posted on 2011-05-14 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
      That you manage to get some subtle yet very there alliteration in a monostitch, well. Goodstuff :)

    I like this, broken down, because:

    - your soul is empty
    - it used to be a refuge (maybe even holy)
    -it is about to get dark (are you afraid of that?)
    -someone haqs abandoned you/ or - you have been neglected
    - the colour of sunset is stark and cruel next to your abandonment

    and all that to say this: this one has layers, it's open yet focused, there is a lot in this line.

    And that is a skill.

    Also, another thang of mine: monostitches.

    So, yeah...
    | Posted on 2011-02-07 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't resist finding a meaning in this. Probably not what you thought of, and yet, this rings of hope to me.

    An abandoned sanctuary is one that no longer works, and among the emptiness, something new and spiritual can find and fulfill us.

    I think its a bit a Zen along with your own Christian theme.

    Thanks for sharing,

    | Posted on 2010-07-17 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW... I liked this alot. I read the description and it seemed weird. This is the first time reading something like this. A one word poem? oh no! but I really liked it.

    Its like when the old wise man sits in silence and suddenly says something that leaves the whole room quiet and echoing.

    I can picture it. Your sould being an abandoned sanctuary at sunset. You allow the reader to decice how big the sanctuary is, how the light hits each stone.

    Basically you hand the reader the tools to interpret and imagine the idea you provide.

    Thanks for the great read.

    | Posted on 2010-07-13 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminded me of another monostich:

    "My soul is an empty carousel in the twilight."

    -Pablo Neruda

    So open and aching, both yours and his.

    I like monostichs. I actually write them quite often.


    | Posted on 2010-07-11 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, it is my first time to read one line poem, it seem cool, I mean you used a metaphor in which you made your soul similar to a sanctuary, OK FINE
    | Posted on 2010-07-11 00:00:00 | by Duke Medhat | [ Reply to This ]
      Colorful and empty?
    | Posted on 2010-07-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]

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