Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Jdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Celeste J. Bell
    ASL Info:    27 Indiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 261/310/148
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 628
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 916



    Description:
       Thought this up in the car ride home from shooting guns


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I search for you--
    through tinted glass in paralleled lines
    of death machines driving steadily
    towards a destination unknown--
    I search for the scent that may linger
    along the trail in which you travel.
    My eyes follow black cars,
    one of them--by chance--may contain you
    with your loud industrial thrill-like sounds
    and your sweet hidden smile behind
    a milky, shaded view.
    Desperate to smell, to taste, to feel it again;
    I will circle round once more to where we once stood
    eager in youth and foolish in pride.
    So when we mix in glee or confusion
    I can reach passed the walls placed between us
    by unrecognizable fear of losing--lost we have become--
    and together we will fight for it as we should have,
    would have done, in the first place
    had we not been so blind to our own naivety.




    Submitted on 2010-07-11 18:38:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      yes !!!! good job - i really like this artful poem of beauty and art .../. i'll have too read it again / not out of confusion - but bliss and sublime ../

    robbie

    fav line

    My eyes follow black cars,
    one of them--by chance--may contain you
    with your loud industrial thrill-like sounds
    and your sweet hidden smile behind
    a milky, shaded view.
    | Posted on 2010-07-14 00:00:00 | by Bloodstone | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is heartfelt i love it!!! certain parts i like the most but its all nicely written... what inspired this write?

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2010-07-14 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      My eyes follow black cars,
    one of them--by chance--may contain you


    I used to do that a lot. I used to look in taxis and see if I knew anyone in them. I would watch mail trucks drive down and see if they're going toward my house. I would look for a certain car and think that the person I want driving that car is in fact, them. But it never really happened, and I think back to those days a lot. I feel like a nice chunk of me drove off with those cars and trucks and taxis- that little hopeful part. People don't come for you. People don't want to go out of their way to be with you. But you do it for others anyways, always look out for them and keep an eye out for their shoes, or the back of their heads.

    I will circle round once more to where we once stood
    eager in youth and foolish in pride.
    So when we mix in glee or confusion
    I can reach passed the walls placed between us
    by unrecognizable fear of losing--lost we have become--


    Isn't that true. We always go back, and we're always lost. We go back to feel if we're still present there, somehow. Like visiting a grave- visiting because they're still there. But dead. You go back to these places and there's a little glimmer that thinks that if you stay long enough, life will blackout and it'll resurface back to the time you were there with that someone, that something special you always go back for. But there's no such thing as life going into a coma and backward. So you stand there, the reason lost.

    What a great poem. So damn true.
    | Posted on 2010-07-11 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186113

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    prison written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry