Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No one will Noticedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: heartless_
    Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 284/251/154
    Words: 416
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 546
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2345



    Description:
       i do not understand where this came from, i do not feel this way at all but when i sat down to write today this is what came out on paper...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo one will Noticedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In a room all alone, sits a girl
    So filled with sadness she donít see the sun.
    A never ending night fills her empty head,
    Unnoticed by her are the tears she cries.
    Looking at the pill bottle in hand.

    A pain so unbearable, she sees no other way
    To silence the words and hate she gets every day,
    A lost hope to herself, she begins to write a letter.

    Should anyone notice Iím gone
    Donít hate me for what you caused,
    When I was down you were not around,
    When I needed just one person, I found none
    All that found me was hate and invisibility.
    I never tried to hurt people, but you never could see me.
    I tried to call for help, but only found locked doors,
    I tried to find you only to find an empty city.
    And now you will find an empty room,
    Though Iím sure you wonít notice, no one will.
    The school will not call, teachers wonít think of the empty place.
    My classmates will carry on, for no one sees
    What I could not hide.

    With her letter complete, no final goodbye
    Why should she when no one would care anyway.
    She gets up from the bed and sets the letter down,
    Wandering once more into the daylight she sits on her roof,
    To see the last sunset that use to calm her down.

    Her parents might walk into her room, or pass by like they do,
    The pills that are gone might be the only reason they know.
    The bottle of water in her hand has long since gone warm,
    But why did she care if it was cold, it would be her last bottle.

    So many pills she starts to have second thoughts,
    What if just one person cared, would it change her mind?
    A mental list runs through her head of her days that go by,
    She finds not one kindness in the memories, and swallows her pills.

    Now all she has to do is wait for the sun to set,
    And she will go to sleep like she always does,
    Only she will never wake to this hateful world again.
    Unnoticed for the last time, one too many tears,
    Made her end it all after a battle that no one saw,
    Not one person did she have, she wonders what a friend,
    Would be like but knows itís much too late now




    Submitted on 2010-07-12 22:11:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186155

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    FamiliarDemons ¬©‚ĄĘ written by kyserin
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry