[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: No one will Noticedots

    Author: heartless_
    Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 284/251/154
    Words: 416
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 570
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2345

       i do not understand where this came from, i do not feel this way at all but when i sat down to write today this is what came out on paper...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo one will Noticedots

    In a room all alone, sits a girl
    So filled with sadness she donít see the sun.
    A never ending night fills her empty head,
    Unnoticed by her are the tears she cries.
    Looking at the pill bottle in hand.

    A pain so unbearable, she sees no other way
    To silence the words and hate she gets every day,
    A lost hope to herself, she begins to write a letter.

    Should anyone notice Iím gone
    Donít hate me for what you caused,
    When I was down you were not around,
    When I needed just one person, I found none
    All that found me was hate and invisibility.
    I never tried to hurt people, but you never could see me.
    I tried to call for help, but only found locked doors,
    I tried to find you only to find an empty city.
    And now you will find an empty room,
    Though Iím sure you wonít notice, no one will.
    The school will not call, teachers wonít think of the empty place.
    My classmates will carry on, for no one sees
    What I could not hide.

    With her letter complete, no final goodbye
    Why should she when no one would care anyway.
    She gets up from the bed and sets the letter down,
    Wandering once more into the daylight she sits on her roof,
    To see the last sunset that use to calm her down.

    Her parents might walk into her room, or pass by like they do,
    The pills that are gone might be the only reason they know.
    The bottle of water in her hand has long since gone warm,
    But why did she care if it was cold, it would be her last bottle.

    So many pills she starts to have second thoughts,
    What if just one person cared, would it change her mind?
    A mental list runs through her head of her days that go by,
    She finds not one kindness in the memories, and swallows her pills.

    Now all she has to do is wait for the sun to set,
    And she will go to sleep like she always does,
    Only she will never wake to this hateful world again.
    Unnoticed for the last time, one too many tears,
    Made her end it all after a battle that no one saw,
    Not one person did she have, she wonders what a friend,
    Would be like but knows itís much too late now

    Submitted on 2010-07-12 22:11:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Fasade written by jackz
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Bond written by saartha
    Linger written by saartha
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]