Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No one will Noticedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: heartless_
    Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 284/251/154
    Words: 416
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 592
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2345



    Description:
       i do not understand where this came from, i do not feel this way at all but when i sat down to write today this is what came out on paper...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo one will Noticedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In a room all alone, sits a girl
    So filled with sadness she donít see the sun.
    A never ending night fills her empty head,
    Unnoticed by her are the tears she cries.
    Looking at the pill bottle in hand.

    A pain so unbearable, she sees no other way
    To silence the words and hate she gets every day,
    A lost hope to herself, she begins to write a letter.

    Should anyone notice Iím gone
    Donít hate me for what you caused,
    When I was down you were not around,
    When I needed just one person, I found none
    All that found me was hate and invisibility.
    I never tried to hurt people, but you never could see me.
    I tried to call for help, but only found locked doors,
    I tried to find you only to find an empty city.
    And now you will find an empty room,
    Though Iím sure you wonít notice, no one will.
    The school will not call, teachers wonít think of the empty place.
    My classmates will carry on, for no one sees
    What I could not hide.

    With her letter complete, no final goodbye
    Why should she when no one would care anyway.
    She gets up from the bed and sets the letter down,
    Wandering once more into the daylight she sits on her roof,
    To see the last sunset that use to calm her down.

    Her parents might walk into her room, or pass by like they do,
    The pills that are gone might be the only reason they know.
    The bottle of water in her hand has long since gone warm,
    But why did she care if it was cold, it would be her last bottle.

    So many pills she starts to have second thoughts,
    What if just one person cared, would it change her mind?
    A mental list runs through her head of her days that go by,
    She finds not one kindness in the memories, and swallows her pills.

    Now all she has to do is wait for the sun to set,
    And she will go to sleep like she always does,
    Only she will never wake to this hateful world again.
    Unnoticed for the last time, one too many tears,
    Made her end it all after a battle that no one saw,
    Not one person did she have, she wonders what a friend,
    Would be like but knows itís much too late now




    Submitted on 2010-07-12 22:11:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186155

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    This written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    A Drink written by jjd
    To written by SavedDragon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry