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    dots Submission Name: Love letter.dots

    Author: Snarkypoet
    ASL Info:    20/F/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    4.16 - 6/7/12
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Misc/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 551
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 296

       Just a little thing I whipped up a while ago when I was in a dark mood.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove letter.dots

    I love you so much.

    How can I ever express what you mean to me?
    All I can do is cling
    To you and tell you to never leave my side.
    Every day I wake to find

    Your name my lips. It is
    Obvious that I will be yours
    Until the end of time.

    Submitted on 2010-07-14 15:29:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i think that the sentiment of this piece is lovely. however, it tells and fails to show. what i mean by this is that this piece would be amazing if it had some imagery interposed through out.

    i love you so much...

    is a very bland opening. (imo, pls dont be offended with my comment/critique). almost anything would be better in its place. start dramatic, as it were.
    "my heart whispers words of love...(corny, i know, but you get the point).

    all i can do is cling...

    i cling to you as an eaglet taking its first flight...(corny...yes, but you get the point again). eaglets cling for life upon the back of their mothers when they learn to fly.

    overall, its good, but images throughout would make it amazing. thanks for the read.

    be well

    p.s. just my thoughts. thats all.
    | Posted on 2010-07-15 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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