Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: reunions in public placesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: in shadow
    ASL Info:    22/F/ nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 581/277/103
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 472
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 351



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsreunions in public placesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    He comes with coffee and memories,
    with teeth poised in silent charm.
    The cold follows him; the smell of wet concrete
    and dead leaves
    There is a brief embrace and a few short words
    A shared drink
    Then, distracted he leaves
    With his baby sister in my hands
    and my last cigarette in his




    Submitted on 2010-07-17 08:36:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Whatever happened there, it sounds [censored]ed up. I like the edge on it, try a few rhyming couplets just to break it up? Either way. I liked. MSS x
    | Posted on 2010-07-17 00:00:00 | by MornSweetSong | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186244

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Date night written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Wavelength written by saartha
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Bond written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry