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    dots Submission Name: Willow treedots

    Author: MysterydarkPoet
    ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
    Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157/295/173
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 714
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1298


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWillow treedots

    The sun shined its kindness upon my face,
    & in that moment I saw the way
    I could see the world.

    The wind it blew me,
    5 from the east & lifted me
    Right up from my knees.
    Leaving me shackle free from your shadow.
    I no longer see your halo.

    If my mind could sketch some words,
    I still don't think id have the courage to say,
    That there was never beauty in your halo.
    Only ever in the coldness of your shadow.

    But like the newly sighted,
    I'm blinded by colour
    Everything slurs & blurs. 
    Yet one image is still crisp,
    & it's still clear
    That it's beyond my surroundings.
    It's in my eyes. It's in my heart
    & it's singing through my ears.

    The sun-
    It was begging to whisper the way.
    So I had to let go. 
    My heart could not stay.

    Even through my tears,
    I left a note under your leaves.
    "oh dear willow tree,
    If your heart ever wonders
    where on this earth I could be,
    Find the warmth of your heart.
    & there I shall be."

    Signed. Sincerely me.

    Submitted on 2010-07-24 20:04:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this one and can relate all too well...the rythym and tempo could be worked on a little but apart from that it is a fantastic piece about love lost..i particularly like the following lines:

    That there was never beauty in your halo.
    Only ever in the coldness of your shadow.

    So I had to let go.
    My heart could not stay
    | Posted on 2010-07-29 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, I like this last one. I think its different, more uhh happy if you will. But this seems to be a poem of hope or something like it, the sun. I like this line:

    "In that moment I saw the way/I could see the world"

    yeah... thats good. I like the idea behind it. How we can see it all with hope, even though theres no reason to. And also all after I read it I got this image of a girl shackled to stone under a willow tree, with the scenery all grey and white, and then writing the note and leaving. It sad, and hmm.... thought provoking. Nice. Later.

    | Posted on 2010-07-27 00:00:00 | by MidnightSun89 | [ Reply to This ]

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