[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Willow treedots

    Author: MysterydarkPoet
    ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
    Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157/295/173
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1298


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWillow treedots

    The sun shined its kindness upon my face,
    & in that moment I saw the way
    I could see the world.

    The wind it blew me,
    5 from the east & lifted me
    Right up from my knees.
    Leaving me shackle free from your shadow.
    I no longer see your halo.

    If my mind could sketch some words,
    I still don't think id have the courage to say,
    That there was never beauty in your halo.
    Only ever in the coldness of your shadow.

    But like the newly sighted,
    I'm blinded by colour
    Everything slurs & blurs.
    Yet one image is still crisp,
    & it's still clear
    That it's beyond my surroundings.
    It's in my eyes. It's in my heart
    & it's singing through my ears.

    The sun-
    It was begging to whisper the way.
    So I had to let go.
    My heart could not stay.

    Even through my tears,
    I left a note under your leaves.
    "oh dear willow tree,
    If your heart ever wonders
    where on this earth I could be,
    Find the warmth of your heart.
    & there I shall be."

    Signed. Sincerely me.

    Submitted on 2010-07-24 20:04:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this one and can relate all too well...the rythym and tempo could be worked on a little but apart from that it is a fantastic piece about love lost..i particularly like the following lines:

    That there was never beauty in your halo.
    Only ever in the coldness of your shadow.

    So I had to let go.
    My heart could not stay
    | Posted on 2010-07-29 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, I like this last one. I think its different, more uhh happy if you will. But this seems to be a poem of hope or something like it, the sun. I like this line:

    "In that moment I saw the way/I could see the world"

    yeah... thats good. I like the idea behind it. How we can see it all with hope, even though theres no reason to. And also all after I read it I got this image of a girl shackled to stone under a willow tree, with the scenery all grey and white, and then writing the note and leaving. It sad, and hmm.... thought provoking. Nice. Later.

    | Posted on 2010-07-27 00:00:00 | by MidnightSun89 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]