Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the miracle of locomotiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WhatYouWill
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 65/76/35
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1361



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe miracle of locomotiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    it strikes me today, suddenly:
    I am walking
    right now
    right at this instant
    and it is astounding how I take each step
    against the gravity of the whole earth

    with this revelation comes a consciousness of my legs
    which flow like broken waterfalls from the craggy cliffs of my hips
    and I am amazed that I have these miraculous, beautiful legs
    that reach all the way down to the ground

    and feet, too
    wonderfully soft and grubby feet
    slightly sticky from the long day's journey
    raw like two slabs of meat

    and toes,
    toes clinging to the cloth of my socks and the soles of my sandals
    rejoicing in the small unnoticed task
    of keeping my unruly body in balance

    and I have knees too
    scabby with long-forgotten scars

    and bruised shins
    from this rough-and-tumble world

    and toenails that scratch strangely at the ground
    when I forget to clip them

    and I have heels too,
    and soles of the feet,
    and flesh that sits beneath the skin,
    and muscles that push and pull and tug
    and bones that keep me proud and tall

    and I have all of this wonderful machinery
    just to wind my weary way
    towards you




    Submitted on 2010-07-27 00:42:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is great--

    i like how you broke down the body in such unpoetic form...lol

    as far as "craggy cliffs of my hips"

    "raw like two slabs of meat"

    very creative and fresh...

    and a nicely symmetrical piece of poetry.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. I have had similar feelings/thoughts about walking.

    It's one of those things we take for granted - thank God we don't actually have to think about our steps so much as we go, though we can regulate and them, like our breathing.

    It can come almost as a revelation when we actually realize we are walking and take the time to consider it more carefully.

    It's because of this I have nothing to offer in the way of criticism.

    I especially like "the craggy cliffs of my hips."

    soul-hugger
    | Posted on 2010-07-27 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186372

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    prison written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The World written by jjd
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Cover written by saartha
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry