Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: December, I Love You.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Celeste J. Bell
    ASL Info:    27 Indiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 261/310/148
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 435
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 733



    Description:
       when shit hits the fan, write really bad poetry. doesn't matter if it sucks, just feels good to clean out my soul


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDecember, I Love You.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Disaster on the mountain top
    waiting patiently to fall back down.
    Roll over me, consume my limbs
    and shower me with obliterated hope.

    She says unfaithful, he says to trust.
    Who I shall believe is yet to be found
    but here I sit thinking it over and over,
    anxious for what I'm ignoring.

    What I wouldn't give to be bulletproof,
    a shatterproof proof of proof itself
    surviving the onslaught of jealous women
    and wandering-eyed men.

    Wait and see, time will tell, and other clichés
    will not sedate my thirst for what I don't know
    despite my fear of knowing it
    as it sits on the mountain, looming.




    Submitted on 2010-07-28 13:05:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I know all too well the feelings in this piece and grim is right-its a great piece of writing. I love all of it but in particular the following lines:

    Wait and see, time will tell, and other clichés
    will not sedate my thirst for what I don't know


    It is a good thing to clear your soul :) poetry is good for our souls even when only written for ourselves and never intended to be a masterpiece-it is still a masterpiece of our lives...
    | Posted on 2010-07-29 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      this doesn't seem to suck at all! I think its a great peace of writing! I loved the first part when you write

    "She says unfaithful, he says to trust"

    I think its one of my fav lines of this poem. I also like :

    "What I wouldn't give to be bulletproof'

    thats somthing we all would love to be. bullet proof from the pain of emotions.
    Its a great write.!
    | Posted on 2010-07-29 00:00:00 | by grimmreaper | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186384

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry