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    dots Submission Name: the darkness in my headdots

    Author: grimmreaper
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 122/43/23
    Words: 182
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 428
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1103

       bulimia. hurts.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe darkness in my headdots

    I have a darkness in my head
    and each new day that I am alive
    It swallows me up more and more

    Like drowning in the ocean
    I can feel my self sink
    farther and farther down.

    And though I want to live,
    and not give in to this
    dark storm overtaking my mind
    the more I attempt to swim
    to the surface
    the more I only feel my self sink
    ever further down.

    I can feel Its dark veins
    leaching into my thoughts
    my heart, and my feelings.
    Leaving me to be
    only a empty shell.

    It tells me things like
    “You are fat” or
    “You are hideous”
    over and over again
    tell the only way
    to make it leave my head
    is to slide my fingers
    down my throat...

    It hurts each time.
    I cry each time.
    Because every day
    that I do this,
    a small part of me dies.

    And soon, I fear
    there will be nothing left
    even worth me fighting for

    Submitted on 2010-07-28 19:51:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I have often wondered where the problem actually lies. See, I am a very fat man, and am in reality pretty ugly my most populist standards. However, I don't see myself that way. I look in a mirror and yeah I notice I am fat and a bit homely, but on a personal leval I am truly ok with it. My only problem is that the rest of the world is not ok with it. The rest of the world refuses to see past the fatass and will not give me a chance. Though, were it not for perceptions of the rest of the world I would not be upset being what I am. So really what I am asking is this: Is your problem with yourself or the rest of the world? If the problem is with the rest of the world, then you need to learn to ignore it as I do (the best that we can anyway) but it the problem is within yourself, I have no help to offer because as I said before, on a personal level being fat and ugly really dosn't bother me.
    | Posted on 2010-07-31 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

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