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the darkness in my head

Author: grimmreaper
Elite Ratio:    8 - 122 /43 /23
Words: 182
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 809
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1119


bulimia. hurts.

the darkness in my head

I have a darkness in my head
and each new day that I am alive
It swallows me up more and more

Like drowning in the ocean
I can feel my self sink
farther and farther down.

And though I want to live,
and not give in to this
dark storm overtaking my mind
the more I attempt to swim
to the surface
the more I only feel my self sink
ever further down.

I can feel Its dark veins
leaching into my thoughts
my heart, and my feelings.
Leaving me to be
only a empty shell.

It tells me things like
“You are fat” or
“You are hideous”
over and over again
tell the only way
to make it leave my head
is to slide my fingers
down my throat...

It hurts each time.
I cry each time.
Because every day
that I do this,
a small part of me dies.

And soon, I fear
there will be nothing left
even worth me fighting for

Submitted on 2010-07-28 19:51:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I have often wondered where the problem actually lies. See, I am a very fat man, and am in reality pretty ugly my most populist standards. However, I don't see myself that way. I look in a mirror and yeah I notice I am fat and a bit homely, but on a personal leval I am truly ok with it. My only problem is that the rest of the world is not ok with it. The rest of the world refuses to see past the fatass and will not give me a chance. Though, were it not for perceptions of the rest of the world I would not be upset being what I am. So really what I am asking is this: Is your problem with yourself or the rest of the world? If the problem is with the rest of the world, then you need to learn to ignore it as I do (the best that we can anyway) but it the problem is within yourself, I have no help to offer because as I said before, on a personal level being fat and ugly really dosn't bother me.
| Posted on 2010-07-31 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

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