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    dots Submission Name: Humerous take on Jack & Jill.dots

    Author: edcherry
    Elite Ratio:    6.91 - 197/67/22
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 775
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1006

       A fun take on the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill, fully end-rhymed 7ft lines as an exercise.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHumerous take on Jack & Jill.dots

    A Take on Jack and Jill.

    Jill went tumbling down the hill when sent by Jack for water,
    the evil witch who guards the creek cast a spell and caught her.
    "you'll stay with me forever now, and be my loving daughter.
    I'll build a house just for us, all made with sticks and mortar."

    But Jill disliked the evil witch, so screamed out loud and said,
    "You'll never keep me here you hag, there's nothing worse I dread!
    My Jack has promised we'll be wed, and live as one instead,
    and furthermore he'll build our home, complete with double bed."

    So shocked was Jack to hear her scream, he fell and broke his crown.
    He capered home for vinegar and paper coloured brown,
    the vinegar dispelled the curse, and caused the witch to drown.
    So Jill was saved to tumble home and wear her wedding gown.

    Submitted on 2010-08-02 22:24:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is right in the vein of those Grimm's Fairy tales and nursery rhymes. And to think our parents used to read these to us before bed!

    It wasn't until later that I actually realized how morbid most of them are. I've noticed most of the kids don't know what they are now, which might be just as well.

    Plus we have Disney to thank for giving them all happy endings. Little Mermaid kills herself in the real story, plus the original cartoon did not feature seashells on her breasts. Just one example...

    Anyway, I think it's neat you re-worked the original like this. The rhyme is great, and I actually like your take better!

    Must have been fun to write!


    | Posted on 2010-08-03 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]

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