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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Umbilical Chorddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 811
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1058



    Description:
       ~semi-finished~

    ...perhaps...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUmbilical Chorddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Umbilical Chord

    down with originals
    that cast a cloned shadow
    that can't be called real
    unless your reality
    includes unique copies
    superior forgeries
    and ingenious fakes

    every day the sun rises
    the moon spawns its cycles
    lungs absently breathe
    and food is ingested as every function
    with every dysfunction and tangential harpy
    of cause and effect, refraction and madness
    and midnight reflection remain true to form

    predictably random
    both dark and light
    both death and dream
    hell's heavenly angel
    all different the same

    the time has come to shred
    the veil of smoke we call order
    and weave the dangling tassels
    into instruments of ardor -

    Hippy garlands of joy? Check.
    Ferocious attack on social inequities? Check.
    Weary heroics of a caped fatalist? Check and check.
    Slow fade into jaded cynicism? Check, please.




    Submitted on 2010-08-08 22:07:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "Slow fade into jaded cynicism?"

    More like the cynicsm express lane, I think. But I like.

    "predictably random
    both dark and light
    both death and dream
    hell's heavenly angel
    all different the same

    the time has come to shred
    the veil of smoke we call order
    and weave the dangling tassels
    into instruments of ardor -"

    Isn't that a true thing? Nothing is really the way it seems, or at least not as clear cut as we'd like to think. Thank goodness.

    annie

    | Posted on 2011-02-06 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the piece but in a way I agree with DaleP. What I mean is the last stanza should be its own piece! It's a prime example to me of how much can be said with few words... I find myself always saying im far to cynical and jaded for the age 27, but non the less I am.


    I actually feel that the piece works well if you remove the last stanza and leave it as is...
    | Posted on 2010-12-26 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
      keep the last stanza throw out the rest
    | Posted on 2010-12-05 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


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