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    dots Submission Name: Forever a Victim?dots

    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/623/381
    Words: 235
    Class/Type: Rant/Betrayal
    Total Views: 699
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1674


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForever a Victim?dots

    Look at me!
    What do you see?
    Only this 21yr old girl whose body is worth something
    My mind is nothing to you!
    Only a possible piece of ass to you nothing more
    You wish to take advantage of me
    Once you have gotten what you came for
    Your gone
    You split
    Thats it nothing more here for you?
    For you have gotten in my pants!!!!!

    Thats all men think of me as
    Thats all they ever want me for

    I don't give it up they walk away
    Spread your legs or be alone
    Which would you do?

    No I am curently not alone!
    Seeing someone for 6 months
    nevertheless I am this women you see today
    Due to my
    sexually abusive childhood
    I endured
    I question things in a different light than most
    I know the feelings of being taken advantage of
    I know what rape feels like
    Knowing all to well I wish to move on
    To look forward not having to recall the feelings

    Desperate I was
    Willing to give up my body for a Father Figure he knew this
    Lonely he acknowledge these feelings

    How do I move on from pain such as this
    What can I do to not question every Man I am involved with?

    Submitted on 2010-08-09 03:44:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There is a famous comedian, Billy Connolly, he like me, was abused sexually by his father. He makes a very poignant and telling remark on a DVD called 1 Gaint Leap... he says, "you are made to feel guilty, for what happened to you, because there is pleasure in what you did and as a child it is hard to differentiate between the aspect of being forced into this situation and the pleasure involved. Then as you grow older the guilt grows and the pleasure is forgotten. Even the involvement of the abuser can be forgotten as it is overwhelmed by the guilt you feel. and then you realize what happened, but the person who did this to you has gone and you are never able to talk to them about it. People think that as you grow older it gets better, but in fact it just gets worse."

    The biggest problem with child abuse is the guilt the children feel. When really it is misplaced, there is only one guilty party, the perpetrator. These people need to be exposed, by the children/adults they have abused... this is difficult as the guilt and embarrassment will rest mainly with the child. Yet, the only way to be free; for the most part ( as we will never be truly free of this ); for the most part is to expose the abuser, to speak to them and accuse them, to tell them and others what a horrendous and damaging thing they have done.... as with all our deepest fears... the only way to deal with the monster is to look it directly in the eye...

    Not all men are the same Jackz, though for the most part they live in their pants and have semen for brains... but not all of us are the same. Not every man seeks self gratification only....

    yet by your experience, how could you judged them any other way ? Even though it's a real [censored], but if you think all men are this way, then those are the types of men you will attract into your life....

    It took me a long, long, long time to see past the abuse and into the reality, innocent you were and are, damaged you were and are... we are challenged in our life to know deeper and transcend further than most. It's not easy, it never will be.... but consider this....

    to date, you have survived and will survive and your heart and your eyes will see more than most, your strength and courage as a person as more evident, than you know, to face the world and still be you.

    | Posted on 2010-09-09 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]
      I completely agree with Ron. I'm glad you brought this piece to my attention. It was a most wonderful read. The emotion so raw and in your face. I loved it.
    Its truely horrid how almost every woman I come in contact with has be sexually abused in some way shape or form. Just the other night I read a book called " The Sacred Bath." It was a story of human sex slave. It was both empowering and disturbing all in one.
    I look forward to reading more of your work. Again thank you for informing of this post.
    | Posted on 2010-08-20 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]
      An advice columnist once wrote "men give love for sex, and women give sex for love". That seems harsh when it's spoken directly, but it is a close parallel to the truth, and I suspect it will always be at least partially descriptive of the sexual relationship between women and men.

    You have much to offer pretty lady, which includes a keen sensitivity to life and to others, and you have ambition. Both will take you far as time goes by!

    | Posted on 2010-08-09 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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