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    dots Submission Name: Unbridled Criticism dots

    Author: metallichick786
    ASL Info:    32/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 78/85/52
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 665
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1236

       I can't describe anything anymore

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnbridled Criticism dots

    My tears they fall like broken glass lacerating skin. I wait for time to sing its song and cue me to begin. I cannot shake the sickness that thrives within my mind. I'm trapped inside a monotone I'll never leave behind. Everything I've ever tried I've failed at successfully. Every dream I've ever dreamt has been whisked away from me.

    And here I sit alone and cold estranged from myself. I've lost my God I've lost my love my pride so worn and thin. I destroyed my faith my happiness, I hold nothing dear or kin. I'm waiting for the time to cue me to begin.

    There was a point I suppose in which happiness did exist, but so far away from where I stand now it seems pointless to reminisce. I suppose I could replay memories and try to feel again, but I don't see how it could take away what's already become.

    I'll count the days like shooting stars unable to keep track, I'll move forward in this dread without the desire to ever look back. I revel motionless within my darkest sins, I'll sit here patiently and wait for time to tell me to begin.
    Only when I take myself away from this world will I truly win.

    Submitted on 2010-08-09 17:29:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is sad, but skillfully written. This is another poem of yours which I think would be greatly improved by formatting.

    You have a great passion and a skill for writing, and your readers feel your passion in your work. This is what poetry is all about; to provoke feeling. Oftentimes it's not just the words, but the mood which can be subconsciously created by the words.

    Either way, this is very good work, pretty lady!
    | Posted on 2010-08-10 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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