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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where Roses Go To Diedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ron Cole
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 2383/1715/240
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1350
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 804



    Description:
       This poem needs a bit of explanation. Long have I been intrigued by the title "Where Roses Go To Die", which just "popped" into my head out of nowhere, and won't go away. I wrote a previous poem inspired by the title, but titled that poem "Where The Roses Die" to fit the theme of the poem. It is published here, and its theme is explanatory.

    This poem is about the sentimentality inspired by an ancient cemetery that serves the rural community around my ranch in the Panhandle of Texas. Most in the small rural community have loved ones who rest there, and have a strong sentimental attachment to the hallowed ground of the cemetery, which is atop a breezy hill in the quiet countryside. The phrase "where Roses go to die" is simplistic in this instance; it simply refers to the final repose of living Roses as being memorial adornments.

    I have many poems which I have written which I consider "not bad" but also just simply "not good". Let me know what you think of this one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere Roses Go To Diedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Atop a rolling prairie hill
    is a place for eternal rest,
    and there enveloped by a peaceful still
    are many of the High Plains best.

    A gentle wind bends low the grass
    and whistles through the still.
    It whispers to the souls beneath
    the crosses on the hill

    There fathers lay beside
    their spouses and their sons;
    there hero and heroines lie
    beneath the High Plains Sun.

    There pioneers and modern folk
    share a common ground,
    there rich and poor alike
    can severally be found.

    There each was borne to lay at rest
    in the prairie neath the sky,
    in a place where earth and Heaven meet
    and Roses go to die.

    Ron Cole
    August 2010




    Submitted on 2010-08-10 13:20:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      May the last place on earth, that I may ever be;
    resting on this wondrous hill, that you have shown to me.
    bring the roses, I love the fragrance.
    | Posted on 2011-04-17 00:00:00 | by DUSTYTU | [ Reply to This ]
      you leave me speechless. and cant say anything except that this was awsome and you are so talented. you could make anythign sound wonderfull..

    thanks so much for sharing
    you rock
    | Posted on 2011-02-08 00:00:00 | by janekostman09 | [ Reply to This ]
      Awestruck! Another masterful piece! I love this!

    -Sharon-
    | Posted on 2011-01-23 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      Awestruck! Another masterful piece! I love this!

    -Sharon-
    | Posted on 2011-01-23 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      Awestruck! Another masterful piece! I love this!

    -Sharon-
    | Posted on 2011-01-23 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      I was with you up to the end of the second stanza
    you bring up the still in the first stanza and I am thinking yes there should be a still on a hill where
    I go to die. Then in the second stanza there is the
    still just a sittin' there. Well then what! no more still
    is what. what is up with that? no still no drinkin'!
    Get real who is going to sit on a hill for all eternity
    will a still right there and not do any drinkin'
    | Posted on 2010-11-30 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, you have a milliion comments. My words will be very redundant...

    I love the image and equality weighed in each stanza. I probably wouldn't have used the word, "severally". It threw me for a minute. I liked that you said, "heroes and heroines" it made me think of women raising families at home while the men fought in the early wars, and women soliders fighting now.

    Wonderful write,
    Carrie:)
    | Posted on 2010-09-21 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]
      I know what this is. I FEEL this. My mother died a year ago. The cemetery is something painful but also something I can't stay away from. I won't say how the poem makes me feel because I can't even bring myself to say how I feel. Forgive me for this because this is beautiful work.
    | Posted on 2010-09-20 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great poem, it easily took me to that place. It left me wishing there was more, like a great song leaves you wishing it was longer. I don't feel that I have anything to critique with this piece, I find it perfect the way it is. I look forward to reading more from you. Great writing!
    Keep on writing!
    Dawn
    | Posted on 2010-09-13 00:00:00 | by Dawnyd | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of something my Grandma might have written. In her life, she wrote many poems. It is because of her I write poetry myself.

    When I was about 12, she gave me a book filled with her poetry. The timeline was between the years of about 1940-1990. She continued to write until her death in 2001.

    It was lovely to read the stories of her life in poems. She and my Grandpa were married before the war, and he went to serve overseas.

    He was gone more than 3 years, then returned after being wounded. I then saw my Grandma mature before my eyes, the birth of her children, her entry into middle, then old age. She called this time the sunset years, at which time she wrote eulogies for many of her friends.

    Grandpa died peacefully last year at 92 years of age. He now rests beside her.

    All her poems rhymed, similar to the way you have done here.

    I think you should always listen to those little phrases that run through your mind. I find the best poems are born this way. Sometimes it takes years to answer this inner prompting, or to get it all down on paper.

    Of course, not everything we write is always going to be good. I have written a lot, too, that is either "not bad" or just plain bad! Some of the "bad" ones are merely confessional pieces done for catharsis that are not meant to be shared with the world. But even with these, there are times a single line will stand out as something I can use for a springboard to another poem.

    I think this is lovely. No matter who we are in life, we all suffer the same fate. I personally do not find graveyards creepy either, I find them peaceful.

    I found the rhyme to be consistent throughout except "there rich and poor alike." I would have added "the" to make it "there the rich and poor alike," but I also realize you will have a different dialect than I do here in Canada.

    My favourite was the second stanza. I could really see it in my mind!

    Hope you're having a lovely day,
    Erin
    | Posted on 2010-09-07 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      "Atop a rolling prairie hill
    is a place for eternal rest,
    and there enveloped by a peaceful still
    are many of the High Plains best."

    Effectively creates a picture and mood in my mind. I can imagine the green hills of the cemetery--I have so often looked at our cemetry and wondered at the contrast from its flowery beauty and the often depicted spooky, dark graveyard image. One correction: I think you intended a possessive in the last line, so correctly that would be "High Plain's best."

    "A gentle wind bends low the grass
    and whistles through the still.
    It whispers to the souls beneath
    the crosses on the hill "

    I notice that you used the same rhymes from the last stanza: still/hill. That makes the rhyme seem just a tad bit forced.

    "There fathers lay beside
    their spouses and their sons;
    there hero and heroines lie
    beneath the High Plains Sun."

    (I hope you don't mind corrections, some people do--but the possessive in the first and third lines would be "Their.") I love this: that fathers lay beside their spouses and their sons. Especially the "beside their sons" part. In the end, every father is going to go to the grave, and so is every son.

    "There pioneers and modern folk
    share a common ground,
    there rich and poor alike
    can severally be found."

    Again, this conveys a message that never fails to make me wonder: the one thing we all share is death. The rich, the poor, the young, the old, people of every walk and type--no matter how hard it might have been for the to live together, or how different they were in life, they are all to be found together beneath the ground.

    And, when all these different people are people we know personally, we realize that there is something about each and everyone of them that we miss, and not many more than others.

    "There each was borne to lay at rest
    in the prairie neath the sky,
    in a place where earth and Heaven meet
    and Roses go to die."

    'Their each was born to lay at rest--' I just wrote a poem about this very fact. The one thing in life that is certain is death. As odd as it may sound, and as odd as it might be, we are all born to die. The last line is a nice finish and title: Where roses go to die. It conveys the feeling that those buried in the cemetery are all people who were beautiful in their own way, and their memory continues to be beautiful.

    Overall, this was a good poem. The main idea of the poem--that epitome verse--"Where Roses go to Die," is original and unbeatable. The imagery was very good, but the rhymes seemed a bit forced, and words sometimes repeated. I think you could revise this poem and make it more smooth. My favorite stanze would be the first--a good "welcome to this world." beginning. I will give you a 4.
    | Posted on 2010-09-01 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]
      this is freaking amazing. i saw myself looking down on this setting while reading it. for someone like myself who has been writing for awhile(some good, some bad) this just seemed to spark my creativeness an made me want to write after being away for a month or so. i really like this and have absolutely nothing bad to say about it.
    | Posted on 2010-08-25 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful!
    I like your substitutions much better than my suggestions...
    a high plains sun! Perfect!
    That brings to mind the old west and a cowboy (looking a lot like Clint Eastwood) squinting though the heat shimmering on the horizon line.
    A well-done revision, in my humble opinion!
    | Posted on 2010-08-11 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one, Ron. I think sometimes the best of poetry stems from putting those random phrases that pop into one's mind together with personal experiences to make an image of a feeling that passes through the heart.
    I would pick at one nit:
    prairie
    It's a good word, and perfectly apt for this poem. But, it's in every stanza but the 4th. Does it really need to be repeated so often? I'd like to see you emphasize the word by using it less (perhaps only in the 1st and 5th stanzas) and substituting other descriptions in it's place.
    Could the rambling wind bend the grass, and the blazing sun rise over the pioneers at rest?
    Just a suggestion or two.
    ;)
    Thanks for sharing; especially for the story behind the story.
    | Posted on 2010-08-11 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      Ron, i really do look forward to reading your poems. but i have to admit, this one was good, yet not as good as your previous ones.
    perhaps the description you gave before the poem, other than the fact i was reading 'your poem' had me hoping for more. i liked the poem's first two stanzas and really loved the last line and the title. but in between the enthusiasm sorts of droops. its a good one, but certainly not your best..
    | Posted on 2010-08-11 00:00:00 | by rsujith | [ Reply to This ]
      I have passed many small cemeteries in small towns and walked in some. Your words touch that feeling I've had in wondering of the people who have gone before. There's nothing better a poet can do than touch the reader.
    | Posted on 2010-08-11 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem has great imagery, I felt like I too am there while I was reading this, I'd love to see this place. It sounds so powerful yet intense.
    | Posted on 2010-08-10 00:00:00 | by metallichick786 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oii,
    WOW!!! This was really just amazing, as i was reading this I was able to visualize everything mentioned in this poem! The tittle was a perfect touch and very clever at the same time. I'm really excited to read some more of you pieces of work!
    | Posted on 2010-08-10 00:00:00 | by cherrywillow | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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