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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: remembering yourselfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadowstar13
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 191/191/129
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 681
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 637



    Description:
       Godawful, I know.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsremembering yourselfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    you can't recover from a gash
    by bandaging it with botulism and ash
    it's not a possibility
    to set a wing
    with eyes wired closed
    and you'll never sing
    with your vocal chords blown

    rise above,
    remember who you are-
    engraved upon this down of steel
    offer the inscriptions to the sibyls-
    You
    Will
    Heal

    leave the lies
    with the lord
    of the flies

    abandon the false pretenses
    adjust your verbs
    and use your senses

    what it is is what you'll make it be.




    Submitted on 2010-08-15 01:13:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It was actually kind of relevant to something I'm dealing with.. or was dealing with recently. People can't move on until they have a lead grip on their past. I got that out of "can't set a wing with eyes wired closed".. It's like an abandonment of the truth for something that doesn't even exist anymore. I'm finding it easy to associate that non-existing thing with love or something similarly deep. I do think this deserves a title though, a fitting one.
    | Posted on 2010-08-16 00:00:00 | by Dolor | [ Reply to This ]
      I dunno. I like it. Those first two lines--
    "you can't recover from a gash
    by bandaging it with botulism and ash"
    --are actually quite catchy. Perhaps I shall introduce them to my everyday conversation.
    This moves at a rattling pace (spoken word-y?) that one the second reading seemed to me to be hiding some inconsistencies. Then on the third reading I decided the inconsistencies were a result of faulty reading on my part.
    All I guess I'd say (well actually I've already said rather a lot I suppose) is "remember who you are" seems sort of cliché, as a phrase. Also, aren't pretenses always false? It feels redundant.
    Not godawful though, not by a long shot.
    | Posted on 2010-08-15 00:00:00 | by Hecate | [ Reply to This ]


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