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    dots Submission Name: Failuredots

    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Alone
    Total Views: 637
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1341

       i'm miserable inside... always in pain... always bleeding.. crying sliently I seem to do often

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I wish to know a life without so much tragedy,
    a heart littered with countless holes,
    soul so blackened by pain and hurt,
    not even the brightest light could lighten it

    Pain given to me by others
    and then pain I have brought upon myself

    I wish to not live with these scars
    I wish to believe the lies I tell others
    Not accepting I put that gun to MY stomach
    I pulled that TRIGGER

    You look up "Failure" in the dictionary
    My name will be the first,
    if not the ONLY one

    Who do know that can point a 12gauge at point blank range
    at their own stomach ...
    I am not paralyzed
    I am not physically hurt
    I am fully healed

    Why do I still feel just as broken as I did that night?
    I am hurting deep within this blackened soul of mine....

    Submitted on 2010-08-17 04:41:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    This was a good read and easy to empathize with. Perhaps it is because I am someone who has been where you are that it is so easy to relate. I struggled with addiction to heroin and other stuff for years. The good news is I found freedom and a solution. And the only thing that has destroyed that feeling of failure, Like I ruined my life is helping others. I have found purpose and direction in most areas of my life. There is a solution. Don't give up. There is a reason why you are still here.

    John O.
    | Posted on 2010-08-17 00:00:00 | by bigohhh1 | [ Reply to This ]

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