Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the lost patroldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 37
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 1085
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 265



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe lost patroldots
    -------------------------------------------


    We whistled for the words
    that would not hearken

    as every solid sound
    began to soften

    then the echoes whirled
    as each word danced

    while the void whispered
    'leave meaning to chance'




    Submitted on 2010-08-21 21:58:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      while the void whispered
    'leave meaning to chance'


    I often find that the more control we try to have on things the more, it, er, slips through our fingers.

    not that the human body and mind can't train and be trained and accomplish great things, not that poetry
    doesn't take practice, but that the meaning, grr. The best of poets is just a highly accomplished medium, letting the world flow through.

    There's room to disagree with that, certainly.
    | Posted on 2012-05-26 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Bill,

    No critique here, just impressions. It makes me think of the feeling when thinks you've always been sure of get fuzzy and questionable. When the solid foundation begins to give way to changing times, changing rules, changing meanings. I could be wrong, but hey, it works for me.

    annie
    | Posted on 2011-02-12 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]
      wind passes through the chimes under my eaves,
    still
    all is silent



    | Posted on 2010-10-11 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      A penny whistles down emptiness and so echoes behind it a chiasmic hallway that which some believe is best expressed as another dimension though the infinite breadth of possibility perhaps holds more beauty and function than the ubiquitous temptations one may find within defining truth as linear.
    | Posted on 2010-08-23 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry, this is not Ron.
    | Posted on 2010-08-22 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Thank you for this. I am going out to the store now to scribe it on a golden flask. Should I quote it as simply 'rws'?

    Ronswords could it be?



    MyX
    | Posted on 2010-08-22 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is about writing.

    It's about when you sit down with pen and page, with the undeniable thirst to create, but the words just won't come.

    No matter which angle you try, the words just do not happen, or refuse to come in the order or the way you might have imagined.

    I think this is your way of telling us to just let it flow, without worrying about structure, rhyme, or meaning.

    That this is said in such a simple and concise way speaks to me too; perhaps this is the ultimate statement about just letting what will be, be.

    I think the patrolman is really patrolling his mind, searching its halls for poetry.

    and the echoes whirled
    as each word danced

    while the void whispered
    'leave meaning to chance'


    | Posted on 2010-08-22 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice little two-line, four stanza structure. It looks neat and tidy, and your choice of words seems to be very deliberate. I have to admit to not really being sure what the hell you're talking about here, but that's undoubtedly just me being dense. I guess I have this visual of a patrolman walking his route, alone and being very aware of it, the silence weighing heavy enough that he feels the need to break it with his whistling. Then you have that strange occurence when you're by yourself and you become convinced that you heard something -- an innocent noise in daylight when you have company -- but now it's vaguely ominous and it means something. You are forced to go investigate, which is always a mistake, because it ends up being something crap rather than the profound thing you wanted it to be. Eh, I'm just rambling here.

    I didn't like the use of 'hearken'. It felt a little clumsy. But that's just a personal take. I doubt you'd want to change it, or even if you could.

    Overall, it was short and sweet, just like this comment.

    | Posted on 2010-08-21 00:00:00 | by Jacoby | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186692

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry