Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: World's Enddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 406
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 504
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 2480



    Description:
       Not much of a scheme, more of an emotional rant feel. Too many emotions bottled up, hard to focus on any form of structure at the moment. Hopefully, I can release some of the pressure and be able to write something with some form of solid structure soon.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWorld's Enddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life is rough but we knew it would be
    But whatever happened to those days
    We knew we'd stop at nothing then
    Through the good and the bad, hand in hand
    And I know I left to find myself, a couple of times
    But I've learned with time, that's an impossible task
    How can I find myself out there, in the cold, dark world
    When myself has been waiting beside you, all along
    Just take my hand
    Why do you make it off like it's not that simple?
    There's nothing on earth that I wouldn't do
    And if I ever convince you to want me again
    No matter the circumstances we're in
    I'll make it so.
    I remember that girl who would fight the world
    Just to see me, nothing more
    And I remember the glow in her eyes
    And I felt the reflection from my own
    We were like magnets back then
    No force could be strong enough to pull us apart
    But it looks like there was one after all
    And no it wasn't distance, we've had that before
    No distance is great enough, I'll find you.
    And no it wasn't the fights
    They were simply the aggressive spark in us
    And they were all harmless concerns in any case
    They always led us to a better appreciation
    Usually to tears, but always arm in arm, hand in hand
    Together as one, the tears would fade
    And I know you have to remember, the memories are too strong
    I remember more than a dozen times a day
    But, no, what did finally seperate us I think
    Through all the strains we had survived before
    Was time.
    And I just hope with all of my heart and soul
    That time will come around, and bring you back to me
    It owes me that much, it's taken everything I care about
    Yet, I could forgive time for giving you back
    And I always told you, don't worry. Everything will get better
    That everything will work out with time
    And as true as that statement may be
    Well, I wish someone could reassure me
    I don't want to forget the wonders we shared
    But if it's going to be long or forever
    It would be nice, if I wasn't reminded every three seconds
    Or even if the fuzzy feeling of butterflies
    Wasn't immediately replaced
    By the longing and despair
    Of a man who lost the world.




    Submitted on 2010-08-24 04:11:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sometimes when your with the ONE.The good times lead to bad times and you don't see them coming, but it's like you what you stated.Tears would fade? I question myself on this one.At the time you wrote this.Where you feeling you were'nt gonna get that back? Bc It could have been: "Together as one, tears will fade

    I thinks it's an okay read more of because i can relate.Absolutely reflective.

    "We knew we'd stop at nothing then"

    "And I remember the glow in her eyes
    And I felt the reflection from my own"

    Your feelings are all over the place here And you need some periods.

    Good poem no doubt but if theres interest of your writing.Then I suggest you update it.

    RG
    | Posted on 2010-08-25 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186723

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Giving written by jjd
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Bond written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry