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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Consumerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Valle_Siddious
    ASL Info:    24/Male/Dystopia
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 93/94/41
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 505
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702



    Description:
       Some of my more recent work...


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    dotsThe Consumerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mass production... Our excuses run the conveyer belt...
    Packaged up in lies and deceit...
    This side up...
    Shipped through out the stores of our forgiveness... Fragile... Handle with care...
    Products designed to make things better...
    Momentarily... Care I barely...
    Layered thick with bubble wrap...
    With each and every pop I grow closer to becoming...
    Cold, the machines... Steel and metal...
    Working endless in this cycle...
    Feeling nothing... Making everything...
    Fall apart as u unwrap them..
    Cheaply made.. A piece of crap..
    Slim...my patience...the consumer...
    To say Im still here...just a rumor...




    Submitted on 2010-08-25 02:28:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      somewhat...dark, it...seems a little...frantic,
    I like it. however it feels like it lacks a specific, clear point.
    It coul use a little editing, but overall its not bad.


    -Will
    | Posted on 2010-09-01 00:00:00 | by Rhythmal | [ Reply to This ]


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