[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: You Don't.dots

    Author: xxiknownowxx
    ASL Info:    16/F/GA
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 128/41/40
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 659


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Don't.dots

    I’ve seen this scene painted at least
    before and before and
    before. Where do you see these hands form?
    Where do you see those eyes place a binding wrap
    around the utmost part of these parts? A blind.
    You’ve set those bones upon a wavering table.
    It’s wood so rotten that you’ve misplaced your interpretations
    of what this ever was.
    Don’t you ask why?
    You’re satisfied in your unsatisfaction.
    Filling your misconceptions with such lies as opposed to
    taking the grained step. You’ve a sand-filled mouth.
    An action accounted for by your freeness of arms.

    Submitted on 2010-08-25 03:39:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I was confused a bit in the beginning, but the idea became apparent. The concept is great, and the metaphor works well, and toward the middle of the piece, the language gets much more descriptive and portray your concept much better.

    There were a lot of lines that really struck me, including:

    "It’s wood so rotten that you’ve misplaced your interpretations
    of what this ever was."

    Great job!
    | Posted on 2010-10-06 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Linger written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]