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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Don't.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xxiknownowxx
    ASL Info:    16/F/GA
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 128/41/40
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 504
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 659



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Don't.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I’ve seen this scene painted at least
    before and before and
    before. Where do you see these hands form?
    Where do you see those eyes place a binding wrap
    around the utmost part of these parts? A blind.
    You’ve set those bones upon a wavering table.
    It’s wood so rotten that you’ve misplaced your interpretations
    of what this ever was.
    Don’t you ask why?
    You’re satisfied in your unsatisfaction.
    Filling your misconceptions with such lies as opposed to
    taking the grained step. You’ve a sand-filled mouth.
    An action accounted for by your freeness of arms.




    Submitted on 2010-08-25 03:39:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I was confused a bit in the beginning, but the idea became apparent. The concept is great, and the metaphor works well, and toward the middle of the piece, the language gets much more descriptive and portray your concept much better.

    There were a lot of lines that really struck me, including:

    "It’s wood so rotten that you’ve misplaced your interpretations
    of what this ever was."

    Great job!
    | Posted on 2010-10-06 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]


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