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    dots Submission Name: The Breath Stalkerdots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 355
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 599
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2116


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Breath Stalkerdots

    One by one it watched with hunger, craving the taste of yet another, eyes tracing the breath escaping from their mouths.
    Cold air separates -
    This could be the only reason why it peers into the windows of your house, it doesn't need slumber
    Coal black formless face - Eyes mother of pearl and enormous...
    - It clung to the walls becoming the form of the fly

    Patient it watched the family wine and dine; turkey and cake
    Patient it would listen to stories of war; summer time splendor and holidays of old.

    It was not death, it chose out of desire to take - Not time
    It was the fly who'd became the shadow behind the drapes.
    - Peering from behind, it waited for father to unwind
    -- Whiskey; wine for mother
    The children yawned and stretched, tired from the events of the day

    Patient it dimmed the lights; Above the lampshade it perched, waiting for prey
    Patient it watched mother tuck the kids away

    -It moved as "dads" eyes closed
    A simple gesture of its hand - Took his breath away

    It had become the fly on the wall, the room was dark - void of life
    "Mom" was easy, it smiled, scoffed at her resting in the armchair - She must of fallen asleep reading.
    Another breath to steal as the children laugh and giggle.
    - Unknown to the death of mother and father, they displayed a childish wonder for the growing darkness at the edge of the light.
    -- It moved under his pillow - eyes open ready to deliver an eternal slumber

    Patient it made the boy so cold, pulling up the sheets it brushed over his face - He moved no more
    Patient it savored the small struggle, a whimper fine like winter and wine

    She hummed and whistled unknown to her brothers untimely dismissal.
    It became the snake, under her bed and to her window.
    A form of a man, eyes wide like a ghost in the mirror

    Like smoke it vanished, patiently awaiting stories of his victims.

    Submitted on 2010-08-26 17:40:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is amazing, so dark and creepy. It gave a sense of something more sinister happening with the little girl at the end.

    The imagery was great in this, and I love how the atmosphere of the piece was set. I wanted to know more after it finished, which is the thing story tellers should strive to achieve.

    Very well done on the impressive write,


    P.s I'll add this to my favourites =]
    | Posted on 2011-08-22 00:00:00 | by Linzi | [ Reply to This ]
      Like it. Minor glitch or two was a little distraction but look it over several times and be happy if you find them yourself. Left me a little wondering still.
    | Posted on 2010-08-27 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

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