Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rabbit in a Pet Shopdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 304
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1566



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRabbit in a Pet Shopdots
    -------------------------------------------




    I remember softness
    A security of nudges and a sense of love
    I remember the taste of it
    As I slept

    I remember others
    Like me
    And others they were
    And I knew them as family

    We huddled and slept
    I remember the security
    The warmth and steady breathing
    But they are gone now

    Now I see nothing
    Nothing but a blank empty
    Now there is an insipid liquid
    And hard dry lumps for me to eat

    I feel an urge in my feet
    They scrabble at the cold smooth ground beneath me
    They ache with a sudden impending motion
    All I see is nothing

    I dream
    Vast places filled with something
    I have never seen
    Sounds haunt me, but I hear nothing

    Great shapes loom before me
    Higher and higher to an open space
    Where something so warm and so bright
    Dazzles my eyes

    I wake up
    Thinking it is all still there
    Waiting for me
    But no, all I see is nothing

    Nothing for me to do
    Nothing comes from the emptiness
    I wait patiently
    I sleep

    And smells waft tantalizingly
    Of something sweet that I could eat
    And soft something beneath my feet
    Makes them scrabble with pleasure in my sleep

    I wake up
    There is nothing
    Only emptiness
    I wait for the emptiness to end, I go back to sleep







    Submitted on 2010-08-28 14:50:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186785

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    winners circle written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Carry written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Push written by JanePlane
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    AI written by poetotoe
    Every..... written by jackz
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    prison written by ShyOne
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Etiquette written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry