[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: You And Idots

    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Love
    Total Views: 526
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 886

       I am simply not sure....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou And Idots

    How have I gotten here?
    Where did it say our paths would cross
    Will this last forever?
    Or are we each others temporary fix?

    Do I hold the key to your heart?
    More importantly ...
    Who shall hold the blueprint to my broken heart?

    Is this lust I ... We feel?
    Aren't we moving a bit too fast?
    Or shall we pick up the pace!

    Days turn into weeks
    As weeks turn into months...

    Are you my night in shining armor
    Or do I look elsewhere for such a man?
    I long to believe you are
    I wish there were even such a thing

    Yet believing in such an abstract thought would simply lead to disappointment
    This I am well to familiar with...

    I shall walk away
    Never knowing
    Letting you go
    and never looking back

    Submitted on 2010-08-29 09:26:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      First off I like it, no doubt.Not bad at all for a Triple 4 stack.(Four line stanzas.One at the begininng, middle and closing end.)
    You've basically done it again J.You put those emotions out with this.I interpret it this way.Your saying there is no more time for a guessing game of who's Mr.Right.Then at the same time theres this thin line between avoiding getting hurt, disappointed and disappointed.And wanting to be right about someone this time around.So really this is [censored] good based on you walking away from your thoughts of having doubts about something/a relationship you feel is the best for you right now.That's how I took it for the read.Only one line confuses me.

    "Or shall we pick up the pace!"
    This sounds like your kinda pissed asking a question that's really not one at all.Try this
    "Or shall we pick up the pace!?"
    That way I can tell you have emotion in this question rather than it sounding like you blurting out.It's just a minor error.Good [censored] here J

    | Posted on 2010-08-30 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo!.. I absolutely love this! The raw emotion put forth is astounding. Relationships I believe are one of the hardest parts of life. Finding that certain someone that makes you whole is always a game that we all play until we meet our maker. Though the hardest thing about it is, is wondering if the one you found is the actual "one." I ask myself some of the same things you've posted here. This is like my inner term oil brought to life. Thanks for sharing!
    | Posted on 2010-08-29 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Fasade written by jackz
    Because of You written by poetotoe
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Every..... written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]