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    dots Submission Name: Hold me?dots

    Author: blankscreen
    ASL Info:    22/f/NY
    Elite Ratio:    5.57 - 222/196/163
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 617
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 907


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHold me?dots

    The downs are so much harder than the ups
    But at least sometimes it feels worthwhile

    I feel like a sacrifice everything
    But ask for too much


    I am scared it will end
    Or it won't
    I am scared it will hurt
    More than I already have

    Don't cry to me on the phone
    Because of what I did to you
    Because I am vulnerable
    Still hurt, broken, and healing


    Sometimes I know
    I need a reminder
    Its staring me straight in the face
    That forever
    Isn't much longer
    When the days are roller coasters
    And only half the time I am safe in your arms

    Someone told me love was OCD once
    Can I blame it on that?

    I am still scared.

    Submitted on 2010-09-04 13:40:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow very deep and the display of confusion.This was good read aloud.I think it would be cool upsied down too.Just me though.The ending at the beginning sorta thing.The mention of OCD makes me ponder on your subject more
    Peace & Inspi RG
    | Posted on 2010-09-16 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      I thin the tone is very emotional. Or if that's too obvious I should say that it's dramatic, but to be honest the sincerity kind of hooks you in. There's a lot of thought put into this ad I like the philosophical side, it's got this romantic quality of only wanting the "now" but afraid of both change and stagnation. The universe goes on for ever or it doesn't, finite or infinite I think we just want to be here in the now, both prospects seem daunting to me. But yeah I like this a lot, I think as this poem goes it's pretty well finished as in I wouldn't add to it etc. But in future or in a different poem i wouldn't mind some more material imagery, I mean it wouldn't work with this poem but I'd like to see how you apply yourself to something more solid. This obviously woks because it's kind of intangible. Just my thoughts anyhoo. I can't remember when i added you to my stalk list but I sometimes take a gander at your poems. I don't know why, I suppose it's cos they're not pretentious and they just go with their own thing. I don't get on ES much myself anymore but seeing as I was on i thought I'd comment.

    | Posted on 2010-09-04 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]

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