Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rattenkriegdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 75/186/232
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 951



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRattenkriegdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Momentary mental lapses begin to caress
    wounds that have become blackened; gangrenous
    Sullen eyes crave a forgotten time
    haunted now by deaths sculptures in ice
    Those who can stand will fight
    ("Animals flee this burning hell of a city...")

    Artillery screams
    in the distance it was digging graves
    ("the hardest stones do not last for long")
    All the color had bled from the flag
    no honor remains on the battlefield of Rattenkrieg

    Enemy at the gates
    a knock from a mile away
    No children will play today
    a threshold no foot of theirs will ever take

    Listen to the chattering of the pretentious Devil
    like a rat he'll always find
    each crack and crevice you hide

    Hold the line
    back to the Volga we will rise

    ("Only men endure")




    Submitted on 2010-09-06 19:27:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I [censored] love this .The title stands like you want it to.This describes an environment of warfare within a city.Makes me think of 45' the fall of Berlin as the Red Army marched right in or the Battle of The Bulge kinda.It says nothing of a soldier but more of the civilians and ppl in the middle of warfare.Good write.Also I look at the wholeness and humbling ways of the man who endures warfare because he changes instantly to do only one thing.Survive. I'm jealous of your title, [censored] is bananas and I'm the first to comment.I don't think they gave a [censored] about interpreting it."Artillery screams" Excellent choice of words to capture sounds of military weaponry to be another sign that lets the reader know what is going on in the piece.
    Lines 12-15 are really good bc it's the art of war telling of the enemies arrivals, "Knocks from a mile away" Which can also say that your enemies are closer than you think.There are several reasons i like it.You nailed it bc for one:
    Anything with the word 'krieg' on the end of it interests me.Again good write dude.Very graphic.

    RG
    | Posted on 2010-09-14 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    186935

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Instances written by hyproglo
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    an explanation of how i was not good written by Daniel Barlow
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Benediction written by Daniel Barlow
    Saying it to you with some gangsta shit written by Daniel Barlow
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    This written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry