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    dots Submission Name: Rattenkriegdots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    2.95 - 75/194/254
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1205
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 951


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    Momentary mental lapses begin to caress
    wounds that have become blackened; gangrenous
    Sullen eyes crave a forgotten time
    haunted now by deaths sculptures in ice
    Those who can stand will fight
    ("Animals flee this burning hell of a city...")

    Artillery screams
    in the distance it was digging graves
    ("the hardest stones do not last for long")
    All the color had bled from the flag
    no honor remains on the battlefield of Rattenkrieg

    Enemy at the gates
    a knock from a mile away
    No children will play today
    a threshold no foot of theirs will ever take

    Listen to the chattering of the pretentious Devil
    like a rat he'll always find
    each crack and crevice you hide

    Hold the line
    back to the Volga we will rise

    ("Only men endure")

    Submitted on 2010-09-06 19:27:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I [censored] love this .The title stands like you want it to.This describes an environment of warfare within a city.Makes me think of 45' the fall of Berlin as the Red Army marched right in or the Battle of The Bulge kinda.It says nothing of a soldier but more of the civilians and ppl in the middle of warfare.Good write.Also I look at the wholeness and humbling ways of the man who endures warfare because he changes instantly to do only one thing.Survive. I'm jealous of your title, [censored] is bananas and I'm the first to comment.I don't think they gave a [censored] about interpreting it."Artillery screams" Excellent choice of words to capture sounds of military weaponry to be another sign that lets the reader know what is going on in the piece.
    Lines 12-15 are really good bc it's the art of war telling of the enemies arrivals, "Knocks from a mile away" Which can also say that your enemies are closer than you think.There are several reasons i like it.You nailed it bc for one:
    Anything with the word 'krieg' on the end of it interests me.Again good write dude.Very graphic.

    | Posted on 2010-09-14 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]

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