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    dots Submission Name: my "mother"dots

    Author: Rubesangel
    ASL Info:    16/female/ LehighAcers Fl
    Elite Ratio:    2.06 - 8/13/25
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 322
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 525


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    dotsmy "mother"dots

    as i sit
    i sit and think
    think of what is about to happen
    happen to family
    my family is poor
    to poor to pay .
    i wish i could say
    say what is going on
    my mom should not be treating her self like that
    giving he self away
    away for the money
    the money used for her drugs
    i sit and think
    of my little sister
    she wants to eat
    but mom is not giving
    giving what she needs for her family
    mom i pray for you.

    Submitted on 2010-09-07 11:38:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is so sad. It has a brooding mood that evokes strong emotions in your readers, and provoking emotion is a large part of what poetry is all about.

    Nice work.
    | Posted on 2010-09-09 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      The flow of the poem was unique, I would have used words to try to provoke more imagery but your words definitely got the point across :) Keep writing!
    | Posted on 2010-09-09 00:00:00 | by Cayman | [ Reply to This ]

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