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Racing Thoughts

Author: SammySueYou
ASL Info:    23/f/nm
Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 90 /78 /30
Words: 189
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1000
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1323


I was feeling "emo" when I wrote this.

Racing Thoughts

Words caught
in a spider web,
filtering what I really said.
Racing thoughts
invading my mind,
topics fast-forward
and then rewind.
voices conversate
over my every action,
inside I cower..
an immense reaction.
I lost my voice
inside of my throat,
I had to write
you a hopeless note.
Help me find
where my real self got lost,
buried beneathe broken promises
and covered in frost.
I want to thaw
my frozen heart out,
the ability to do that
is clouded with doubt..
The world keeps putting
dead weight on my back,
its hard to get out
of this hole that's covered in black.
The hole keeps getting deeper,
its sucking me in,
I need to claw and scratch
at these creatures living within.
A vampire lives inside me
leeching off of my hope,
sucking my happiness dry
and leaving me inable to cope.
Can somebody break past those barriers
with powerful words,
speaking with such force
that tramples big herds?
Maybe one day I can save
what is left inside,
only I can fix it
and take another with me
along for the ride....

Submitted on 2010-09-11 06:53:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Sounds like you're going through some pretty rough [censored].
| Posted on 2010-09-12 00:00:00 | by Nayno | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this. I felt like I was riding a roller coaster. As you painted this picture I was climbing rung for rung up a hill, then you would tie in your emotions and brought me over the hills peak. Like this part:
A vampire lives inside me
leeching off of my hope,
sucking my happiness dry
and leaving me inable to cope
It was a nice flow to it. Except for that part ^ but that's ok because it slows the reader down and brings attention to that part of the poem.
| Posted on 2010-09-11 00:00:00 | by HECATE_Sservant | [ Reply to This ]

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