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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Image too Lonesomedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BusterLILblock
    ASL Info:    21/F
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 452/270/50
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 692
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 836



    Description:
       Just reading and came up with this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Image too Lonesomedots
    -------------------------------------------


    When reliving the past was too unbearable
    I would conjure up the future

    and when that pealed
    I'd conduct my life from beneath my eyelids

    Forming
    Depicting
    Discovering
    Erasing
    Redoing

    Believing myslef
    deceiving myself

    Drone, I now sit.
    Lonesome

    My cry immortal
    Yet never utterd

    The silence was only mute
    because of my actions

    My imagination took the life I onced happily lived

    Every breath can now be redone
    In the room I lay

    Nevertheless my illusion stimulating
    My passion alive

    My happiness ever forward?
    My fear ever overcame?


    My, My what have I done?




    Submitted on 2010-09-15 20:15:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      reading this the glory the agonies the wasted .the discovery . plan. lets do. get it done.

    part makes me remember of that one scene from the defiant ones.



    your growing your scintillating. keep it up.

    | Posted on 2010-09-19 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      I gave you a 5. This is a great piece. I liked it all except the "peal" which I didn't get--could you explain the to me?
    | Posted on 2010-09-16 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]
      "When reliving the past was too unbearable
    I would conjure up the future"

    This definately caught me. Although I do have good memories from the past, it has always, always been a habit of mine to "conjure up the future," a future that is everything I want and I am satisfied that I am able to imagine it, satisfied enough with it in my imagination so that I don't mourn over it not coming true.

    "and when that pealed
    I'd conduct my life form beneath my eyelids"

    The word peal throws me off here. I looked it up, and it has to do with loud sounds and summons. I assume that this means when the speaker finds imagination appealing, well, my first thought was of him or her turning into some kind of mega alien. (Been playing too much Ben 10 )

    "Forming
    Depicting
    Discovering
    Erasing
    Redoing"

    I love lists in poems, and this one comes in perfect timing. The ideas form, the solidify into a picture, the speaker discovers something wrong with them, he/she erases, and begins over.

    "Believing myslef
    deceiving myself"

    He decieves himself with belief in his fantastic imagination. That is one thing imaginitive people must learn to do: recognize the barrier between imagination and reality.

    "Drone, I now sit.
    Lonesome

    My cry immortal
    Yet never utterd"

    Sitting and dreaming, but the pleasant dream becomes a pain because it won't come true for real. wow. This yearning is never been uttered, but has been burning within the person's soul and continues to burn.

    "The silence was only mute
    because of my actions

    My imagination took the life I onced happily lived"

    What a wonderful sentence. My imagination took the life I once happily lived. When the speaker started imagining things that he wanted, that were in reality impossible, he found his real life less than satisfying.

    "Every breath can now be redone
    In the room I lay

    Nevertheless my illusion stimulating
    My passion alive

    My happiness ever forward?
    My fear ever overcame?"

    Whatever ruin he has caused because of his imagination can certainly be repaired. However, imagination is tempting, and imaginary passions are strong. They whisper to you: "happiness ever forward."

    "My, My what have I done?"

    A perfect finish. All in all, this was a great read. (And I actually didn't have to read it over at all, I commented as I read for the first time.) I'm surprised that the idea I had in the beginning, of how I keep my imagination seperate from real life, is the theme that I find in this poem. My favorite lines are the two in the beginning and the one at the end. In your own words, great write, Buster!

    C. S. (curtain?)
    | Posted on 2010-09-16 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]
      ok let me start by saying that, why are u in my head? my plan didnt work it never does. what have i done? is what i ask myself everyday. so yeah good observation.
    | Posted on 2010-09-15 00:00:00 | by geekyslacker | [ Reply to This ]


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