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    dots Submission Name: For My Unclesdots

    Author: stefhy
    ASL Info:    21/f/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 165/83/37
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 430
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 615

       This is just another one... quite similar if you ask me, but I need a place to keep them all until I decide to spruce them up.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor My Unclesdots

    A smile in our memories and a name etched in our hearts,
    Though you've been set free today, we never really part.
    Our hands a little colder, but the tears will keep us warm
    Your strength will shine within us, your love is still in form
    When you find your way, into that sun filled home,
    Remind all the others of where you're coming from.
    From a family of many, where love is all we know.
    We keep our hearts together, as we let you go
    Sing and dance in heaven, the way we know you will
    We will do the same down here, and celebrate you - still.

    Submitted on 2010-09-16 22:58:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a wonderful memorial to a loved one lost! It is a somber and well executed memorial poem, that is a credit to the writer and a noble tribute to the beloved that has passed on.

    I extend my sympathy to you and yours for your loss.

    Well done, Stefhy.
    | Posted on 2010-09-20 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cute. My sympathies to you for your loss (If you have in fact experienced it. I once wrote a fictional piece about a man with a cruel father and someone expressed sympathy that I had such a father ) I admire how you don't view death so much as a loss that puts you in dark grief, how you can love and let go at the same time, and how you can celebrate (not mourn) your beloved gone on. I always appreciate good rhyme, especially because I am terrible at it and respect how challenging it can be.

    We will do the same down here, and celebrate you - still

    This is my favorite line, and a great finish. I have just one suggestion to make:

    Our hands a little colder, but the tears will keep us warm

    I believe that "Our hands ARE a little colder..." will sound better.

    Great piece. I am giving it a five.
    | Posted on 2010-09-17 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]
      first and foremost, i give you my sincerest sympathies for your loss. this is a great write. i find the best way to vent out to someones death is by writing TO them like you have done here.

    favorite line(s):
    "A smile in our memories and a name etched in our hearts,
    Though you've been set free today, we never really part."

    yes that's right, my favorite was the intro. that's how it is when another dies. we remember their smile, and never forget a name. its what keeps us bonded with them forever, our memories.
    | Posted on 2010-09-17 00:00:00 | by Thief | [ Reply to This ]

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