[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Ascension on a Sparkdots

    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 874
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1260


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAscension on a Sparkdots

    He's tripping in the dark, the blindness
    Caresses the crisp shivering air erasing
    The future ahead
    And his marauding past confessing
    To no one out there who could listen, also deaf

    Others stumbling, gnawing through the flesh
    Getting in the way of their plunder chipped nails
    Scratching out and away from the wails
    That are nothing if not also their own

    Collapsing his thoughts the chimes in the crying
    Distance count down to his first breath, and the last
    A memory inside a memory
    Through the nightmare that would cast
    A dawn such as this upon him, mercilessly

    Choking in the betrayal of his senses, reaching
    For despairs final resting place outside
    A fragile essence, the see through
    Part of him wishes to stay there and hide
    At a loss of will which is that of a dying man

    But the strings are not his own to pull, a puppet
    He's drawn, he knows he's left her alone
    So nothing guides him
    But her shackled cries from the unknown
    Like a sound that shakes his lungs, feigning his heartbeats

    He goes ever forward

    Submitted on 2010-09-17 10:18:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Porcelaine, I'm glad you have returned. I see a change in your work. The three poems you posted seem in ways to be related. Recently I have found little poetry I want to read and I've been at a dead end for a while creating my own due to factors in my life. You may have gone through an emotion stretching period. You do the best thing that poetry can do for me - make me feel. I admire your seemingly effortless style which is full of surprise. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2010-09-20 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]