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    dots Submission Name: lame utterancedots

    Author: Black Rock Tractor
    Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 555/824/140
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 540
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 565


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    dotslame utterancedots

    High and low balls clatter together
    on this table in the back
    of an Italian restaurant in the South.
    Paco exudes a realness
    that none of the Yankee transplants
    can understand.

    A girl named Keri whose dreams
    I have filled
    left early.

    I leave alone, again. No surprise.

    A clatter of words from past loves
    fills my mind, my body
    a pristine waste.

    It'd be cool to have a woman here now.

    A man needs one. ESPN takes her place.

    Submitted on 2010-09-18 01:47:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
    So I'm sorta browsing your page & you have a wonderful set of titles to choose from, because even tho it is bad form, we all sometimes judge a book by its cover ya?

    Anyway, in this case it's greatly paying off for me as a reader. Generically speaking, there is a directness in your poetry that I find incredibly appealing & refreshing. The honesty that it denotes, both to the self & anyone who might be listening, is intriguing. & somehow the candid, plain-speech style doesn't fall flat. It strikes me that giving it to the reader straight might just be a viable style of poetry after all, tho there's still an obvious amount of skill here & the ideas that the poems hinge on are fantastic & original.

    This poem exemplifies all of that, & you've informed all of our senses. There is both opinion & “what is” woven together. I also really love that “a girl named Keri whose dream/I have filled/left early” & later the admittance to needing a woman, not having one, & finding solace, almost in a face saving sort of way.

    I'm just....really enjoying all aspects of this & your writing I guess.
    | Posted on 2011-05-01 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]

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