Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Seasons take their toll

Author: caspian
ASL Info:    23/m/Denmark
Elite Ratio:    2.31 - 134 /189 /57
Words: 134
Class/Type: Lyrics /Passion
Total Views: 574
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 849


Seasons take their toll

winter hangs over me like an old coat
dangling in the hallways from a wind thats creaking in
I bent over like the old folks
preaching my mistakes to the mellow winter lakes

Summer comes crawling on the floorboards
with dashing carports opening and closing like parades
Kites flying high above the rooftops
shadowing the children playing lucid on the streets

Autum comes raining like a beestorm
covering the branches in a singing festival
I put my pillow to the rescue, following
the rhytm to imaginary lands

Spring leaps and climbs over the willows
in hasty footsteps, fleeing from an ever chasing man
I put my faith into the season of never sleeping
whilst the pendul swings again over the lands

Submitted on 2010-09-26 06:49:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  it verry good i like it alot sooooooooo keep up with the good work write some more and read some of mine please
| Posted on 2010-10-08 00:00:00 | by angelagresham19 | [ Reply to This ]
  I like it but I think putting the seasons in order would make it flow more..starting with winter and moving to spring then summer then autumn
| Posted on 2010-09-29 00:00:00 | by Alilia | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?